Friday 13 April 2012

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up-

Today’s sign of the Apocalypse:

Some of you reading this fine morning may or may not know that the 116th running of the Boston Marathon is going down this weekend.  You also may or my not know (who really cares) that one of our dear team members here, Sister Margaret has been in Boston all week preparing for the run.  We kindly asked her to sit down and write a little exposé about the ‘Merican running community.  Before we get to her scathing piece…What is up with Boston anyways?  Who really cares about that city?  Now its common knowledge that the “real” Boston is in Lincolnshire home of the majestic St Botolph’s Church and not some lame, wanna be spoiled rotten sports city.  Anyways…

…Is Christian Grey running this year or not?  I sincerely hope so, Holy crap:  Americans are so bland and two-dimensional!

Something titillating happened during the course of being amongst a gathering of local runners during the past few days, the proverbial light bulbs started to flicker then they finally managed to fully illuminate themselves.  These events were eerily similar to reading an old Penny Dreadful when I was younger.  Why is it that everyone seems to feel uncomfortable about having their inner and outer selves virtually delineated?  Just yesterday I spotted a young woman craftily dressed for the running occasion reading the dreadful and horribly written book Fifty Shades of Grey at an outdoor cafe for lunch.  Getting off on a little light spanking and unarousing sex scenes while sipping on her crisp Perrier.  Oh, almost forgot: munching on a fresh cheese plate as well.  I could keenly tell her inner temperature and desire were rising, how?  The sweat outlined fingers grasping her iPad and the salacious look gripping her face.

Then I started to think about this in broader terms.  Today you can Google: “Fitness” and in .019 seconds you get your daily dose of erotic movements served to you to fill your every desire.  Beautiful men and women barely clothed, steaming with sweat…Holy Crap!!!  I could care less what movements they are performing, I want the virtual image of perceived hard work in my head during the run this Sunday!

Back in the old days there was something dreadful about running for miles on end.  Where do I pull my motivation for the final 15 miles?  Remember when your were a kid back in the day at the local corner store trying to build up the courage to buy the June issue of Pent House (gals have their faves as well) in 1980?  “I look to young.  There is no way the man behind the counter will sell it to me!  Dear God what if my parents find out?”  The sooner we admit that nobody needs a seedy magazine to see nudity in today’s world…

So it should come as no surprise now that everyone (and I mean everyone) is hyper obsessed with fitness/health because it’s easy, sexy and extremely assessable.  Do you engage in a running routine or pull your motivation for a hard workout from a scantily glad stud who you perceive is begging to see some secret potential in you?  From what I can surmise:  The only times you are thoroughly motivated to run or workout is when you finish a chapter of fifty Shades of Grey and open the Pinterest app to find a hot young man to keep you company for the last few miles.  And for the love of god if I hear one more yoga mom here ask:  “Is this cheese plate paleo friendly?”

The Plan-

Inner drive, passion, desire to achieve the unachievable…Holy Crap!!!

The Workout-

Let’s have some fun before the weekend begins…You will need a park, an open space and some friends and family.

Tag Running/Sprinting to Warm Up:  Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who tags first!  Do that for however long…Followed by:

Our Warm Up for the week and 20 or so minutes on the Monkey Bars.

Play around and have fun!

Notes:

What drives you?  Sex, passion or pleasure?  We sincerely wish all of you reading today a healthy and fun-filled weekend, ENJOY!!!

**If you have read Fifty Shades of Grey…You know what Holy Crap is all about…**