Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses-
Thank you for your continued support of my humble blog-o-thing! Its your kindness, passion and well – being pretty darn inspiring folks, that keeps me rolling along. Take care and be well!
I’m not making this up. In Cafe Latte’s wine bar
one of the lovely coeds at the next table
touched John on the arm as if I wasn’t there
and said, Excuse me, sir, but what
is that naughty little dessert?
And I knew from the way he glanced
at the frothy neckline of her blouse,
then immediately cast his eyes on his plate
before giving a fatherly answer,
he would have given up dessert three months
for the chance to feed this one to her.
I was stunned; John was hopeful;
but the girl was hitting on his cake.
Though she told her friend until they left
she did not want any. I wish she wanted
something—my husband, his cake, both at once.
I wish she left insisting
upon the beauty of his hands, his curls,
the sublimeness of strawberries
and angel food. But she was precocious,
and I fear adulthood is the discipline
of being above desire, cultivated
after years of learning what you want
and where and how, after insisting
that you will one day have it. I don’t
ever want to stop noticing a man like the one
at the bar in his loosened tie, reading
the Star Tribune. I don’t want to eat my cake
with a baby spoon to force small bites,
as women’s magazines suggest. And you
don’t want to either, do you? You want a big piece
of this world. You would love to have the whole thing.
– Katrina Vandenberg
It was over a girl,
One boy had spoken to her,
Had asked her out, the other
Had been feeling with her
The twitches of something serious.
It was a misunderstanding,
Something that might have been fixed,
Talked out or around,
But the whole school had turned out
To watch them settle it.
It was too late for talk,
It was no longer just their fight,
Something irrelevant and impure
Had entered it, honor, looking
More upright than the other,
Things which had nothing to do
With the girl, or desire,
Or what she had whispered to one of them
One night in a car.
So they faced each other,
Bringing their anger up
By saying what finally did not matter
But loudly enough so their bodies believed it.
There was a sudden coming together,
There were fists flailing
While everybody, hundreds, watched.
One was cut above the eye, the other’s
Knuckles were bloodied against teeth.
It lasted half a minute until
One of them pulled back and said
Something like “This is stupid”
And the other dropped his fists
And watched him walk away
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it-
The best chance of finding pure joy in your “activity” of choice, is to approach it out of desire, not emotional need (I’m writing broadly this morning).
“Do I need to go running today” or “Do I really want to ride 100+ miles of Gravel on a long holiday weekend?”
An emotional need to do “something” is a preference that you’ve decided must be gratified to remain whole and centered, that is to say a little bit differently, you can’t be well or feel whole without it. If I feel it, therefore, I need it, and if I need it, I have to feel it more … This is a quick and efficient method to getting hurt, injured and falling out of love.
Following our deepest desires (mine happens to be Gravel Grinding and Yoga) will lead you to a relationship based on compassion and kindness, rather than temporary excitement and dare I say – Injury. “I want to go for a nice ride,” is far more compassionate than, “I need to go for a ride.”
Play around with these last two statements before heading our the door this morning, and do take care!
* Thank you Scott for sharing some of your awesome pics from the Good Life Gravel Fondo this past Saturday!
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity-
*Sunglasses, hard hats and earmuffs and required today … We are going to discuss sex and well-being – Yeah*
Too often in relationships, sex, running, yoga, cycling, whatever. We go with the flow of sailing a steady and predictable course. We believe “things” are going well, great even as long as there are no rough waters ahead: Injuries, setbacks and unnamed surprises … We think everything in between the sheets and life must be fine. We’re safe, comfortable, maybe we even think at times that safe and comfortable add up to happiness? Sadly, this is not the case.
Then one day and maybe this day is this morning, someone asks us what you really want out of life, what you really desire? Do you desire to punish your body only to leave your loved ones, wanting?
Embracing vulnerability, I am going to share a list, a list of what I desire – feel free to add to this list in the comments below or share them with a loved one later, either way, only you know what you really want.
A day of not being in pain of some sort or another …
A hand on my lower back and knee that magically heals me …
A gentle hug(s) that last forever …
A smile that makes me smile …
A hand that reaches across to mine during a drive, to take mine …
“What the hell is the point of this post before a long holiday weekend, seriously?”
Creating space for yourself to identify what you want, in “whatever” … yourself, your running program, your relationship(s)? Is pretty cool! Gently move closer to a place that feels right, that nourishes your body and spirit rather than depleting it.
Be well this weekend and please take care.