As I listened from a beach-chair in the shade
To all the noises that my garden made,
It seemed to me only proper that words
Should be withheld from vegetables and birds
A robin with no Christian name ran through
The Robin-Anthem which was all it knew,
And rustling flowers for some third party waited
To say which pairs, if any, should get mated.
Not one of them was capable of lying,
There was not one which knew that it was dying
Or could have with a rhythm or a rhyme
Assumed responsibility for time.
Let them leave language to their lonely betters
Who count some days and long for certain letters;
We, too, make noises when we laugh or weep:
Words are for those with promises to keep.
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable-
Blah – Blah – Blah: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone or anything else. Where have you read these words before …
As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most tender. When this happens, we feel freedom, we are granted permission to love in a deeper sense.
There is no amount of positive self-talk that can replicate this experience. Too many times I witness caring people using will power as an excuse to fight through a yoga class. Intimacy and love will not be found here …
If our vulnerability is met with struggle or disinterest, feeling pressured into attending practice. Something brilliantly tender shrivels up and retracts within us, we often lament about ever sharing this part of ourselves again. When our authentic self fails to “work” on a yoga mat (or whatever), we create a false self which lets us feel safe and accepted, although at a significant cost.
Every time we face the choice to share our deeper self, we stand at a precipice. Often, it’s just too scary to take the first step forward …
How do we free ourselves from the thrall of shame thrown on us, the ever pressing need to succumb to societal norms? The fear of being our true selves?
I wish I could tell you, I sincerely do. I do know that for whatever reason, you are here reading this drab post, and this means everything to me. Be well this weekend and please take care!
What you seek is seeking you-
It is fascinating to note that as my sense of self-appreciation slowly increases, the attraction(s) in my life have begun to change.
The delicate conversation of self-appreciation revolves around attributes to which I call “true gifts.” These attributes encompass my personal places of deepest sensitivity, emotions – laid barre so to speak. These are the aspects of my true nature that can be touched most deeply, or hurt most terribly. These parts are as unique as my fingerprints and the physical scars I wear; they are my true “authentic self.” At times they might feel like true gifts, and at other times like deep flaws (if you have had the pleasure of fracturing an orbital bone? You know of what I speak of) …
I’d like to share something with you this afternoon: Until we learn to embrace our true gifts? We will be continually attracted to people and “things” that devalue us. Please, think about this today as you pour half your heart into your yoga practice, or anything else for that matter.
As I learned to express and embrace the very qualities which have made me feel vulnerable and different, my attraction(s) slowly began to change. I started to lose my taste for “things” which chipped away at me and this is truly a wonderful experience.
Our true gifts are not easily found … It’s when we pause to seek what nourishes and inspires us: Supportive family and friends, yoga outside one morning, or a brisk walk during lunch … Something to think about.
This thing about you that you think is your flaw – it’s the reason I’m falling in love with you-
Oscar Wilde once wrote that, “The essence of romance is uncertainty.” Why yes! The age-old strategy for finding love Is by playing hard-to-get, which helps spur yearning, desire and anticipation. Although there are other kinds of “love” and at times its confusing for many (especially myself) because unlike the great word smiths, writers and poets before our time. Today, love is a catchall term for literally, everything. Love carries little or no weight during a conversation, how many times have you said you Love running in the same sentence with: “I Love you.”
Join me by reintroducing other, seldom used terms or endearment back into the lexicon of the modern world. *Bonus points if you use these words with a loved one, stranger and whist working out today.*
Ludus, is a more playful form of affection found in fooling around and flirting. If you feel love for all “things“, humanity, nature, the stinky dude bent over in front of you in yoga class this morning? A more generalized love is Agape.
Philia, is deep, non-sexual intimacy between close friends, family and often at times – complete strangers. Philia can also manifest as a deep bond forged by people who have been through a dramatic or emotional experience together. Can you remember the kind folks who helped support you through your first marathon?
Lastly I want to leave you with the most profound kind of love … In order to love another I believe we also need a type of love called Philautia, which is self-love. It’s important to note that in order to care for others, we desperately need to care and love ourselves.
Love is not something we fleetingly fall into. Be well today!