Their Lonely Betters

As I listened from a beach-chair in the shade
To all the noises that my garden made,
It seemed to me only proper that words
Should be withheld from vegetables and birds

A robin with no Christian name ran through
The Robin-Anthem which was all it knew,
And rustling flowers for some third party waited
To say which pairs, if any, should get mated.

Not one of them was capable of lying,
There was not one which knew that it was dying
Or could have with a rhythm or a rhyme
Assumed responsibility for time.

Let them leave language to their lonely betters
Who count some days and long for certain letters;
We, too, make noises when we laugh or weep:
Words are for those with promises to keep.

 W. H. Auden

CultFit Gentle

Wednesday 14 March 2012

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it’s just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it-

Looking back it may have been wise to let you know that this weeks posts are trying to flow together in one way or another.  Grandpa-pa Moses pointed this subtly out last night:  “You bloviating fools spend so much damn time writing and chatting about something that in essence is so simple!”

“Get up and move everyday…”

That is 89 years of old man wisdom there peeps…In essence we all do this on any given day, right?  For most of us this simple idea begins to travel sideways as soon as we step out of bed though, sadly.  We could beat this topic into a righteous death daily like so many blog-o-sphere types do…But why really?!?  Only YOU know what it takes to get back to the purity of Grandpa Moses message…

The Plan-

Allow us to dip our toes into murky waters today for just a moment.  We are here to empower you not to provide self-serving recommendations or instruct your every move during a program.  There are fundamental movements you need to pattern before you add serious weight!  These need to become second nature like picking your nose in your mom’s basement.  Case in point:  Turkish Get Ups.  89.2% of you can barely walk and download an app little lone put all the pieces together to properly put some serious weight over you head!  And now you are going to go off to the “box” and do AMRAP in 20 minutes?!?  More power to you…Quick timeout for a few obligatory links to warm your heart:

These Links are Must Read(s) Peeps!!!

Weekend Warriors

Overly Aggressive Workouts Put Athletes at Risk

The Workout-

Trail Run/Walk/Swim for about 45 minutes or so followed by:

100 Alternating Goblet Squat Pivots

100 Reverse Lunges (No weight – No Shoes)

Spend 30 Minutes messing about with the Turkish Get Up (Start with what you learned yesterday and continue to pattern this critical movement)


Today’s top tip:  Swimming and stretching in the pool prior to a hard workout…Let’s just say your body will thank you later in life.  Be safe today and ENJOY!!!

Wednesday 29 February 2012

Second star to the right…and straight on ’til morning-

Top Tip of the Day-  If you are obsessed with the amount of visits your site gets daily and would like to add some more?  Make a generic comment about Cardio Barre Burn and YogaMed!  Our Web Stat Department reported a 126.2% increase after we did it recently…

In case you haven’t noticed today is a bonus day this year.  Others will make a big to do about it and probably pen some witty blog-o-piece about doing something outrageous today to celebrate…NOT US!!!

We honestly hope you understand our lack of science this week when it comes to breathing.  We could bore you to death with charts and graphs and all sorts of wonderful illustrations of human anatomy (You albóndiga’s would like that!).  What good would it do rather than serve as yet another distraction for you during the day?

Instead fire up the Google Machine, crack open a fresh VitaCoco and read up on:  Bellows Breathing

The Plan-

The Workout-

Prefacing the program today with “Don’t be an Idiot…

Warm-Up like you have been doing all week and then simply lie on the floor in a corpse pose…Just lie there for about ten minutes feeling your breath.  Then call over the kids, your cat, or something that weighs about 5-15 lbs or so and gently place it below your ribs and on top of your diaphragm.  The tension you need to keep from folding in two is the tension we want you to have during all of our programs, Understand?  If you don’t take a moment to read it again…So on that note:

10 Sets of 10 Perfect Push Ups (Chin touch, Eyes Forward, Feet Together at the bottom…Allow your breath to release you from the floor)

High Push Up Plank at the Top for 10 Seconds

Rules:  A few of you will be able to perform the program today unbroken and a few of you will be absolutely broken by doing this wrong.  Either way anytime you drop from the High Push Up Plank you add another Perfect Push Up to the next set.  Are we on the same page here?  We have set the over/under at:  125 Total Perfect Push Ups.  How will you do?!?


Have fun enjoying your extra 24 hours!  No really have a blast and ENJOY!!!