There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable-
Blah – Blah – Blah: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone or anything else. Where have you read these words before …
As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most tender. When this happens, we feel freedom, we are granted permission to love in a deeper sense.
There is no amount of positive self-talk that can replicate this experience. Too many times I witness caring people using will power as an excuse to fight through a yoga class. Intimacy and love will not be found here …
If our vulnerability is met with struggle or disinterest, feeling pressured into attending practice. Something brilliantly tender shrivels up and retracts within us, we often lament about ever sharing this part of ourselves again. When our authentic self fails to “work” on a yoga mat (or whatever), we create a false self which lets us feel safe and accepted, although at a significant cost.
Every time we face the choice to share our deeper self, we stand at a precipice. Often, it’s just too scary to take the first step forward …
How do we free ourselves from the thrall of shame thrown on us, the ever pressing need to succumb to societal norms? The fear of being our true selves?
I wish I could tell you, I sincerely do. I do know that for whatever reason, you are here reading this drab post, and this means everything to me. Be well this weekend and please take care!
This thing about you that you think is your flaw – it’s the reason I’m falling in love with you-
Oscar Wilde once wrote that, “The essence of romance is uncertainty.” Why yes! The age-old strategy for finding love Is by playing hard-to-get, which helps spur yearning, desire and anticipation. Although there are other kinds of “love” and at times its confusing for many (especially myself) because unlike the great word smiths, writers and poets before our time. Today, love is a catchall term for literally, everything. Love carries little or no weight during a conversation, how many times have you said you Love running in the same sentence with: “I Love you.”
Join me by reintroducing other, seldom used terms or endearment back into the lexicon of the modern world. *Bonus points if you use these words with a loved one, stranger and whist working out today.*
Ludus, is a more playful form of affection found in fooling around and flirting. If you feel love for all “things“, humanity, nature, the stinky dude bent over in front of you in yoga class this morning? A more generalized love is Agape.
Philia, is deep, non-sexual intimacy between close friends, family and often at times – complete strangers. Philia can also manifest as a deep bond forged by people who have been through a dramatic or emotional experience together. Can you remember the kind folks who helped support you through your first marathon?
Lastly I want to leave you with the most profound kind of love … In order to love another I believe we also need a type of love called Philautia, which is self-love. It’s important to note that in order to care for others, we desperately need to care and love ourselves.
Love is not something we fleetingly fall into. Be well today!
If they substituted the word ‘Lust’ for ‘Love’ in the popular songs it would come nearer the truth-
:::BEEP BEEP BOOP:::
You are now connected to the CultFit Extreme Fitness conference call. Please state your name and title for those of us in attendance.
“Chaz, reporting from Omaha”
“Molly here! The best bodega/spa manager this side of the Hudson”
“Caleb, Cage Free/Paleo animal relations director from Red Hook”
“:::heavy frantic breathing::: Zoey …”
“OK, well thanks for calling in everyone. I wanted to start by saying all of you are doing such …”
“:::heavy breathing::: ahhhh – yeahhhh”
“Zoey … is that you? Are you OK?”
“Yeah, Chaz. :::heavy breathing::: I’m calling during my lunch hour. Just getting in my scheduled afternoon bikram yoga session in. AHHHHHH.”
“Zoey, you really didn’t need to call us from the yoga studio!?!”
“Oh I’m not at the yoga studio. :::heavy breathing::: I’m actually just … ahhhhhh the burn! Feel it! Damn! … I’m just sitting in my office with a space heater on full blast! Between the sweet pouring off my body and the humidifier …”
“Hey, I don’t mean to be difficult, but I gotta go do things and see people in an hour, so can we just get on with this meeting already?”
“Yes, sorry Molly. Anyway, like I was saying. I just want to go over the Q4 projections of our Elite – Sustainable – Renewable Energy – Health Spa to make sure we’re all on the same …”
“Ahhh, yeah that’s it. Yeah right there, deeper, feel the stretch :::heavy breathing::: AHHHHHHHH!”
“Zoey … are you sure you’re OK?”
“Yeah, I just took off my clothes and upped the intensity a touch. I’m almost done lovelies. Keep going.”
“Caleb, did you want to go over your thoughts for the planned sustainable – rooftop – farmers market … ”
“:::heavy breathing::: 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … FIRE BREATHING!!! Bring it on home, Zoey! You got this you bad ass …! AHHHHHHHH!”
“This is really distracting. Maybe we can just brief Zoey later over a babyccino?!?”
“It’s OK Molly. I’m done now.”
“Just need to switch the space heater off and … there. I’m listening. Go on folks.”
“I really think it might be better if we just reschedule for …”
“:::heavy breathing::: heeee heeee hoooo hoooo heeeeeeeeeee huuurts soooo gooooood.”
“This is ridiculous. I’m signing off now.”
:::BEEP BEEP BOOP:::
“Yeah, me too.”
:::BEEP BEEP BOOP:::
“Just one … more … second. Annnnd done. Ahhhh. Alright, good work everybody. Hello? Anyone still here, hello?!?”