Monday 16 April 2012
Posted: April 16, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, exercise, fitness, free range, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, life, lululemon, marathon, motivation, natural, pain, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, remedy, rest, running, swings, therapy, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 16 CommentsTo stray about and tire. To beg and feed oneself. To brag and act in conceit. To simper and fawn. To wilt and whine; to be furious; to be miserable: What is this living but a child’s antic!
Quick question to start this splendid Monday morning off on the right foot: Why do you insist that your workout should be so hard and uncomfortable? This post may be as personal as we ever get around here for one simple reason: There is an ethical brush fire surrounding the Fitness World and we are right in the middle of it. Uncle Francis recently coined the term…” The Random Fitness Placebo Effect.”
We are going to put faith in you dear reader that you are aware of the placebo effect and save you from explaining it here. That would be painful and nauseating…The faith we do not have in you is when this applies to your health and fitness program.
Answer these three simple questions after your next WAD or fire-breathing 5k program:
How does your current program enhance your current physical well-being? How much effort does your fitness program require from you? How many times during the last week did you perform said fitness program?
Expected benefit, Perceived effort, Adherence and Perceived benefit= The Random Fitness Placebo Effect (nice little definition if we must say so…). Basically and as simply as possible: The The Random Fitness Placebo Effect is a function of how hard YOU thought your fitness program was.
At least 300 peeps will email us here this week wanting something difficult and complicated to perform. Almost all of them will make the assumption that a challenging series of movements will do more for their overall outward appearance (That is what this is all about right? Gotta look hot in them yoga pants?) than a more simple less dynamic movement, or that a complicated program will do more for their body than just being mindful and present in oneself.
You will never get a Placebo Program here! Four peeps now why this is! There is a prevailing No-Pain-No-Gain mentality stirring up the winds to drive the flames further within the blog-0-sphere…You won’t find it here.
The Plan-
The Workout-
Thoroughly Warm Up into a think lather this morning and proceed with the following:
**Once you pick up your weight of choice it stays up**
25 KB Hard Style Swings
20 KB One Arm Perfect Presses (Each Arm)
20 Alternate/Pivot Goblet Squats
20 One Arm Bent Over KB Rows
Gently set the weight down and perform:
100m Sprint Out and Back
Rinse and Repeat…Oh, 5-10 times?
Notes:
Just because you choose to engage in something that YOU perceive is hard, does not necessarily give you the perceived benefit YOU think it does?!? Be safe today and most importantly, ENJOY!!!
Friday 13 April 2012
Posted: April 13, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, desire, drama, exercise, fitness, free range, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, passion, perspective, pilates, recovery, relationships, rest, running, sex, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 13 CommentsThe best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up-
Today’s sign of the Apocalypse:
Some of you reading this fine morning may or may not know that the 116th running of the Boston Marathon is going down this weekend. You also may or my not know (who really cares) that one of our dear team members here, Sister Margaret has been in Boston all week preparing for the run. We kindly asked her to sit down and write a little exposé about the ‘Merican running community. Before we get to her scathing piece…What is up with Boston anyways? Who really cares about that city? Now its common knowledge that the “real” Boston is in Lincolnshire home of the majestic St Botolph’s Church and not some lame, wanna be spoiled rotten sports city. Anyways…
…Is Christian Grey running this year or not? I sincerely hope so, Holy crap: Americans are so bland and two-dimensional!
Something titillating happened during the course of being amongst a gathering of local runners during the past few days, the proverbial light bulbs started to flicker then they finally managed to fully illuminate themselves. These events were eerily similar to reading an old Penny Dreadful when I was younger. Why is it that everyone seems to feel uncomfortable about having their inner and outer selves virtually delineated? Just yesterday I spotted a young woman craftily dressed for the running occasion reading the dreadful and horribly written book Fifty Shades of Grey at an outdoor cafe for lunch. Getting off on a little light spanking and unarousing sex scenes while sipping on her crisp Perrier. Oh, almost forgot: munching on a fresh cheese plate as well. I could keenly tell her inner temperature and desire were rising, how? The sweat outlined fingers grasping her iPad and the salacious look gripping her face.
Then I started to think about this in broader terms. Today you can Google: “Fitness” and in .019 seconds you get your daily dose of erotic movements served to you to fill your every desire. Beautiful men and women barely clothed, steaming with sweat…Holy Crap!!! I could care less what movements they are performing, I want the virtual image of perceived hard work in my head during the run this Sunday!
Back in the old days there was something dreadful about running for miles on end. Where do I pull my motivation for the final 15 miles? Remember when your were a kid back in the day at the local corner store trying to build up the courage to buy the June issue of Pent House (gals have their faves as well) in 1980? “I look to young. There is no way the man behind the counter will sell it to me! Dear God what if my parents find out?” The sooner we admit that nobody needs a seedy magazine to see nudity in today’s world…
So it should come as no surprise now that everyone (and I mean everyone) is hyper obsessed with fitness/health because it’s easy, sexy and extremely assessable. Do you engage in a running routine or pull your motivation for a hard workout from a scantily glad stud who you perceive is begging to see some secret potential in you? From what I can surmise: The only times you are thoroughly motivated to run or workout is when you finish a chapter of fifty Shades of Grey and open the Pinterest app to find a hot young man to keep you company for the last few miles. And for the love of god if I hear one more yoga mom here ask: “Is this cheese plate paleo friendly?”
The Plan-
Inner drive, passion, desire to achieve the unachievable…Holy Crap!!!
The Workout-
Let’s have some fun before the weekend begins…You will need a park, an open space and some friends and family.
Tag Running/Sprinting to Warm Up: Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who tags first! Do that for however long…Followed by:
Our Warm Up for the week and 20 or so minutes on the Monkey Bars.
Play around and have fun!
Notes:
What drives you? Sex, passion or pleasure? We sincerely wish all of you reading today a healthy and fun-filled weekend, ENJOY!!!
**If you have read Fifty Shades of Grey…You know what Holy Crap is all about…**
Thursday 12 April 2012
Posted: April 12, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: active rest, blogging, crossfit, exercise, fitness, free range, fun, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, lululemon, marathon, mobility, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, rest, running, test. abs, trail running, walking, WOD, workout, yoga 22 CommentsNo one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one-
Thursdays never seem to arrive quick enough during the week, do they? There are a million other things to do on any other ordinary Thursday. Sometimes we like to compare the ingredients in organic brown rice? Other times there is a Arnica Oil on the market that simply sounds too good to be true. In the end we consider Thursdays a time to step back and reflect on all the amazing things happening around us…You know what? It’s “Best Caption Wins Something” time:
The Plan-
The Workout-
Your choice…Either a nice refreshing Rest Day or one of our fave workouts pulled from our “Don’t Stop, Don’t Puke” series here at CultFit HQ?
If you choose the workout? Well, it’s not much of a workout but rather a nasty little test we like to do from time to time to chart progress amongst our dear followers.
Today’s Top Tip for aspiring fitness albóndigas: You can learn more watching someone walk and performing a plank than you can HSPU’s or prone running.
The Test: Hinge Walk Out to a High Push Up Plank…Feet together, Hinge, Walk your Hands out to a High Plank Position, Head in a neutral position and actively pushing through the floor with your delicate little hands.
Anything less than three minutes and you fail our test. There is no amount of crunches, ab mat situp’s, yoga, core blast, 6 weeks to a 6 pack routines you can do to prepare for this today.
If at anytime you lose stability in your upper body, STOP. If your hips drop, STOP. If you start building tension in your neck, STOP!!! If you seriously want to mess yo self up disregard the previous notes!?!
Hinge, Walkout, High Plank…How hard could it be?
Notes:
By all means give our test a go and see where you stand. Some glaring weaknesses will present themselves after 30 seconds…Most importantly do this safely and ENJOY!!!
Wednesday 11 April 2012
Posted: April 11, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, exercise, fitness, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, life, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, rest, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 15 CommentsI’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball-
**WARNING- Science content today!!!**
Proprioceptive Exercises “…What in the bloody hell are those?” Good thing you asked, watch this video real quick and we’ll catch up with you in a minute…
Do you see the “mood” switch on the wall across the room? If you don’t mind could you flip it to: Kill?
We have devised a test this morning to weed out the ELITE/EXTREME fitness aficionados: We challenge you to maintain postural control for 20 seconds while performing a single limb squat at 60 degrees of knee flexion.
Let’s get this straight before we go any further: You want to punish yourself and others by engaging in highly technical lifts and or movements. But you can’t stand on one leg for 20 seconds? Pull out your trusty goniometer and figure out where 60 degrees is at and give it a go.
“Why should I care? I’m young, healthy and love getting my hands dirty during warrior dashes and flipping tires?” Basically, your inability to maintain postural control may amplify limb to limb strength deficits during a functional task. That’s all…Crawl, Walk, Run…Systematic progression peeps (four people know why this is important)! Oh and if you are one of “those” less than authentic blog-o-types…Try our test with your eyes closed!!! If you do it at home no one will know that you failed…
The Plan-
The Workout-
Say hello to your new “friend” today:
On the surface he is pretty harmless, smooth and hard as a lacrosse ball…(JaJa Perv!?!) Before we get started let’s go through our Warm Up this week and work into a thick lather…
Find a nice hard wall somewhere: Basement, squash court, house, back of your hubby’s head? You will also need a partner as you cheat, quite often as a matter of fact! This is what we did at CultFit HQ:
We used an exterior wall and a neighbor hood rug rat amped up on a Five Hour, grape flavor! Actively get into a loaded jumping stance and have the kid throw the “thing” off the wall in front of you. Your job is to catch it before it hits the ground, oh and by the way: It never comes off the wall at an angle your mind expects it to, that’s the secret to this program today!
Do this for about 30 minutes…If you miss to your LEFT? 40m Sprint (out and back)…Miss to your RIGHT? 20 Perfect Push Ups. Miss HIGH or LOW? 50 4 Count Jumping Jacks.
“… Ah shucks Uncle Mo I don’t have one of those “things”, looks like I won’t being doing this today!” Not so fast! Any sort of ball works as long as you are not the one throwing it! Even hockey pucks work!!! Give the kid a Monster instead and prepare to be humbled really, really quick!
Some fitness programs proclaim they prepare you for the unexpected with some lame WOD or whatever. This is legit and seriously hard!!!
Notes:
Because we value you, our dear reader. Tomorrow the choice of topic is up to you: Altered Joint Loading or how Fifty Shades of Grey is worse than a penny dreadful? Get outside if you can and have a blast giving the program today a go! Most importantly be safe and ENJOY!!!
Monday 9 April 2012
Posted: April 9, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: 10k, 5k, crossfit, exercise, fitness, health, jogging, kettlebell, life, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, rest, running, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 8 CommentsWe learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do-
We sincerely hope all you peeps out there lurking had a splendid holiday weekend with the family. Good, don’t mind us now as we urinate all over your feel good plans for the week…
The above poll is our “scientific” contribution to the blog-o-sphere this morning.
To recap our little pep talk for the week regarding the seeking of providing and/or of advice…It comes down to one of life’s most basic dicta “You are more likely to get what you want if you ask for it.” Shocking isn’t it?!?
The Plan-
The Workout-
For the rest of the week our Warm Up will consist of the following (may be done indoors or outdoors) Preferably in order:
Forward Rolls X 10
Backward Rolls X 10
Dive Rolls X 10
Quick Rolls (3 successive rolls as fast as possible) X 5
Forward Roll To Bear Crawl
Backward Roll To Crab Crawl
High Knees (running, 40m)
Butt Kicks (running, 40m)
High Knees (running drill, 40m)
Butt Kicks (running drill, 40m)
One Legged Hops (get up high, extend, 40m)
Two Legged Hops (get up high, extend, 40m)
Backpedal (backwards run, reaching back, 40m)…Followed by:
“One Hundred of Something…” This may be the only time we’ll ever actually use a clock as a means of measurement during a program!
Pick a movement and without stopping (obviously unbroken)…100 Perfect Reps. We did this last year at about this same time, who knew that keeping a workout journal would come in handy?
This is what we did: 100 One Arm Perfect Presses Each Arm (20lb db)
Get creative today doing this…
Notes:
A few things are going to happen quickly if you give the program a go today: One you over-estimate your athletic prowess. Two is that 100 is a lot of reps to muster with an inflated sense of self worth…No matter what the outcome may be today. Please do this safely and ENJOY!!!
CultFit 