The (I)ntro
Posted: September 27, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, crossfit, cycling, Darth Vader, Emotion, exercise, family, fitness, free range, freshly pressed, friends, gluten free, happiness, health, hipster, hope, intensity, Jedi, kettlebell, kindness, life, love, Luke Skywalker, lululemon, marathon, medicine, meditation, motivation, Motrin, musings, natural, nature, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Omaha, pain, Pain management, paleo, passion, running, star wars, WOD, writing, yoga 28 CommentsPain will come with time, but time will heal the pain-
Let the above quote settle in your heart for a moment …
Life can be full of emotional “roles” we take on. I am tired of trying to act out what others have created – written for me, and I want to define myself for who I really am, not what’s expected.
Of the 500+ blog posts I have written, this one has been by far the most challenging. Why? Because it is more Uncle Ben Kenobi then Luke Skywalker and while I like to think I can save the day, every day, for everyone, like an intergalactic heroine; I realize I must now save myself. I am not a fictional character but a simple dude figuring things out and sharing observations along the way. A simple dude who is learning that being healthy and pain-free is not a luxury to take lightly, it is part of my journey.
I’ve arrived to the conclusion that I need more than awareness, I need acceptance in my life. I am fully aware that I live with unwavering pain everyday, simply waking up in the morning (hell, I never fall sleep) is enough of a reminder.
I fully realize now (in this uncomfortable writing position) that awareness is the crisp sheet of Star Wars wrapping paper my lovely wife and I firmly wrap around our son’s birthday presents, with the gift(s) neatly stowed inside, and acceptance is the shredded aftermath of his fury: ribbons, bows, poorly taped boxes, and batteries I forgot to pick up the night before (because focusing on suppressing pain is all-consuming) … it is effort, function, and truth beyond projected images. They are both beautiful and play important roles in our life.
Awareness: I have always wanted to get better after each injury, heal faster, be healthier, listen to everyone’s problems, and take away everyone’s pain away without ever taking time to acknowledge my own. I’m terrified of pain … I want to be the poetic ideal that everyone believes I am. A friend, a father and husband with time and heart for all who come in need of a hug or a willing ear, to process a conversation or opinion without judgement. I want to meditate peacefully, perform yoga pain-free, be a better lover, and be honest and open to all I meet. Is that too much to be all of the time?
The answer of course is a resounding YES! Because after years of simply being aware of the pain, I am now laid barre writing to you, fully accepting where I am at in life.
Acceptance: I have always thought that simply not being in the grasp of the worst of my pain was in fact happiness. Everything these past few years has been a matter of comparison for me, I am a walking barometer of pain. I want to know what happiness truly feels like. Happiness is not skipping mega doses of pain medication(s) one morning in order to know I am alive today in comparison to yesterday when I was under the influence of too much Motrin. My days are filled sharing with others in hopes that they will come to know happiness. That they can work towards being better, that you are allowed to eat red velvet birthday cake, drink too much wine and be merry. You don’t have to suppress the joys of life to achieve some self-serving, vanity filled fitness goal! What others expect you to be …
Notes:
What follows is a note to myself:
I must take care of myself, not just so I can fulfill my obligations in life but to take care of those who love me.
Flaw(ed)
Posted: September 25, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: Agape, Aristotle, biking, Bikram Yoga, blogging, compassion, cycling, Eros, fitness, freshly pressed, gluten free, happiness, health, hipster, kettlebell, kindness, life, love, lululemon, marathon, meditation, motivation, musings, natural, nature, Omaha, Oscar Wilde, paleo, passion, perspective, Philautia, Philia, pilates, Romance, running, Self-love, simplicity, trail running, Walk, walking, whole foods, WOD, writing, yoga 10 CommentsThis thing about you that you think is your flaw – it’s the reason I’m falling in love with you-
Oscar Wilde once wrote that, “The essence of romance is uncertainty.” Why yes! The age-old strategy for finding love Is by playing hard-to-get, which helps spur yearning, desire and anticipation. Although there are other kinds of “love” and at times its confusing for many (especially myself) because unlike the great word smiths, writers and poets before our time. Today, love is a catchall term for literally, everything. Love carries little or no weight during a conversation, how many times have you said you Love running in the same sentence with: “I Love you.”
Join me by reintroducing other, seldom used terms or endearment back into the lexicon of the modern world. *Bonus points if you use these words with a loved one, stranger and whist working out today.*
Ludus, is a more playful form of affection found in fooling around and flirting. If you feel love for all “things“, humanity, nature, the stinky dude bent over in front of you in yoga class this morning? A more generalized love is Agape.
Philia, is deep, non-sexual intimacy between close friends, family and often at times – complete strangers. Philia can also manifest as a deep bond forged by people who have been through a dramatic or emotional experience together. Can you remember the kind folks who helped support you through your first marathon?
Lastly I want to leave you with the most profound kind of love … In order to love another I believe we also need a type of love called Philautia, which is self-love. It’s important to note that in order to care for others, we desperately need to care and love ourselves.
Notes:
Love is not something we fleetingly fall into. Be well today!
Bad Day
Posted: September 13, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: Bad Day, blogging, compassion, Creative Writing, cycling, fitness, freshly pressed, friends, gluten free, happiness, health, hipster, hope, Kay Ryan, kindness, life, love, lululemon, meditation, motivation, musings, natural, nature, Omaha, paleo, passion, perspective, pilates, Poem, Poetry, Prose, recovery, trail running, weekend, whole foods, WOD, writing, writting, yoga 11 Comments…
Not every day
is a good day
for the elfin tailor.
Some days
the stolen cloth
reveals what it
was made for:
a handsome weskit
or the jerkin
of an elfin sailor.
Other days
the tailor
sees a jacket
in his mind
and sets about
to find the fabric.
But some days
neither the idea
nor the material
presents itself;
and these are
the hard days
for the tailor elf.
– Kay Ryan
Notes:
“Things“will get back to normal around here this coming Monday. Until then, be well and have an amazing weekend!
Every Man for (Him) Self
Posted: September 3, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, compassion, exercise, fitness, freshly pressed, friends, happiness, health, hipster, hope, kindness, life, love, lululemon, marathon, meditation, motivation, musings, natural, nature, Omaha, paleo, passion, perspective, pride, whole foods, WOD, yoga 4 CommentsI could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine-
Has someone ever asked you the seemingly simple question after a recent race, sweaty session at the gym or while picking up your registration package before an event: “Does it really matter? This thing you are doing?”
There is no meaning in “life” unless we create it, and we make our meaning by seizing meaningful opportunities presented to us. If you are short on time this morning you may stop reading here. What follows is a broader discussion on creating meaning …
Here’s the thought-provoking question of the day: How can “creating” be held as a meaningful opportunity if we have already “seen through it”? Seldom do we embrace the moment or take pleasure in simply being, enjoying the moment. Our minds all over the damn place during the day and certainly all over the place the day of an event!
Allow me to introduce an idea into the pot that might actually prove successful; creating as a “spiritual activity.” A spiritual activity that rewards your creative side, working hard and training even harder, sweating, performing. As hard as these ideas are to comprehend to some and maybe this is you, they also provide joy and happiness.
I see and read about it far too often, folks who run in a local marathon and before they even slam their first step into the pavement … They are thinking about post race glory!
Notes:
Remember our discussion about hedonic and eudaimonic well-being a long time ago? Seeking and creating pleasure; having a deep sense of purpose and meaning in life?
Desire(s)
Posted: August 30, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, compassion, desire, family, fitness, freshly pressed, friends, happiness, health, hope, Intimate relationship, kindness, life, love, lululemon, lust, marathon, meditation, motivation, musings, natural, nature, Omaha, paleo, passion, perspective, running, Self-Help, sex, Sexuality, simplicity, sun, Suprises, trail running, walking, whole foods, writing, yoga 10 CommentsFighting for peace is like screwing for virginity-
*Sunglasses, hard hats and earmuffs and required today … We are going to discuss sex and well-being – Yeah*
Too often in relationships, sex, running, yoga, cycling, whatever. We go with the flow of sailing a steady and predictable course. We believe “things” are going well, great even as long as there are no rough waters ahead: Injuries, setbacks and unnamed surprises … We think everything in between the sheets and life must be fine. We’re safe, comfortable, maybe we even think at times that safe and comfortable add up to happiness? Sadly, this is not the case.
Then one day and maybe this day is this morning, someone asks us what you really want out of life, what you really desire? Do you desire to punish your body only to leave your loved ones, wanting?
Embracing vulnerability, I am going to share a list, a list of what I desire – feel free to add to this list in the comments below or share them with a loved one later, either way, only you know what you really want.
A day of not being in pain of some sort or another …
A hand on my lower back and knee that magically heals me …
A gentle hug(s) that last forever …
A smile that makes me smile …
A hand that reaches across to mine during a drive, to take mine …
Notes:
“What the hell is the point of this post before a long holiday weekend, seriously?”
Creating space for yourself to identify what you want, in “whatever” … yourself, your running program, your relationship(s)? Is pretty cool! Gently move closer to a place that feels right, that nourishes your body and spirit rather than depleting it.
Be well this weekend and please take care.
CultFit 