The Quintessential Guide to the London Summer Games: CultFit Style
Posted: July 25, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: Alise Post, crossfit, diet, fitness, food, happiness, health, hipster, Holley Mangold, Jordan Burroughs, life, Lolo Jones, london, love, marathon, Olympics, pilates, running, Ryan Lochte, Sir Chris Hoy, Summer, WOD, yoga 19 CommentsA cucumber should be well sliced and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing-
A little mood music this morning (Click play and read the rest of the post, maybe):
Daily Top Stat: Only .2% of ‘Merican households care about the Olympics. August 8th can not arrive soon enough for the rest of our country: Honey Boo Boo
The summer games are right around the corner! The CONDOMS have finally arrived and the ANTI AIRCRAFT BATTERIES are firmly in place. Without wasting anymore of your time, here are our Athletes to Watch:
Holley Mangold- The ONLY woman to watch at the Games, PERIOD! Authentic, real and an inspiration to us here.
Alise Post- Your butt is sore if you stub a toe during a two-mile run! Image all the blog posts you would write if you had the following: A torn ACL, LCL and hamstring. Just for good measure lets toss in a hairline fracture in her femur and a detached meniscus … last July during a training ride! Keep an eye on “The Beast“!
Jordan Burroughs- All we see is gold as well!!! He may hail from Slakerville, NJ although he reared his dark side while in Good ‘Ole Nebraska.
Sir Chris Hoy- Ladies, he’s a Sir. That’s all you need to know.
Lolo Jones- Every Father reading today wants his Son to marry a woman like Lolo. She’s humble and not perfect, human. Plus she would whoop the hell out of your kid in a moments notice … Running of course!
Ryan Lochte- Michael Phelps is a douche. Albeit a douche with some hardware. Mr. Lochte is going to whoop his ass!
The Plan-
A quick stretch …
The Workout-
A nice Swim, Yoga and Meditation.
Notes:
Any thoughts on our list of the Summer Games Best Athletes? Feel free to chime in with who you think we left out of the mix … ENJOY!!!
Thursday 12 July 2012
Posted: July 12, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, happiness, health, hippie porn, hipster, intensity, joy, life, love, lululemon, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, sex, trail running, whole foods, WOD, yoga 11 CommentsDrinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals-
Talk about kicking the proverbial hornets nest! If you missed the post from yesterday? Who are we kidding you didn’t miss anything of actual importance or some groundbreaking new science … or did you?!?
Normally each and every Thursday is a Rest day and we play some silly games, please don’t rush off in a pissy mood! We will get to them in a minute (better make that 15 minutes … A rant is brewing).
Pop Quiz Time: Are you reading this post today comfortably in your underwear, due to sex? The correct answer is yes! We, YOU, all of the above have adopted such a myopic view of the world that primarily focuses on “ME“. Step back and strip away all the layers that bog us down … Last time we checked Uncle Pliny’s parents had SEX (Spoiler Alert) 42 years ago and he is writing this post today due to that one-act, which didn’t last very long!
So if you are still pissed off from yesterday? Oh well, maybe this will make you feel better: Are Men Going Extinct…
The answer is YES (If you take the time to read this you will be kindly rewarded)!
The Plan-
The Workout-
Rest Day = Yoga, A Nice Walk and Some Self Reiki
Notes:
Deep cleansing breath … ENJOY!!!
Be Who You Are…
Posted: July 11, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, crossfit, exercise, fitness, free range, gluten free, health, hipster, jogging, kettlebell, life, love, lululemon, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, rest, running, simplicity, trail running, walking, whole foods, WOD, yoga 19 CommentsHaving children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist-
Today’s Sign of the Apocalypse: For those of you who enjoy a REAL Triathlon? Say hello to the Newer – Cooler – Extreme … You suck version!!!
**Reebok X-Fit will leave no fitness program or methodology untouched as it ravages bodies around the globe**
In the basement of our critically acclaimed “CultFit Analytical Department” our researchers have been quite busy of late crunching numbers and watching Ellen. Here’s what they have come up with:
Men Do Everything They Do In Order to Get Laid
and Women Do Everything They Do In Order To Look Like Other Women
What? Did their report rub you the wrong way? Feel free to opine in the always “lively” comments section … Although bear in mind they did just recently publish this report about our future:
The Plan-
The Workout-
Long time readers will recognize this program from our “Open the Backdoor” series of Workouts published a long time ago.
Get out of the tub, Put down the iPad, Forget about taking pictures of your breakfast to post, Lift your chin up and Open the Backdoor to go do something … Obviously the previous sentence was written for the pretentious, delicate YogaMom’s reading today. For the dudes: Get yer ass off the couch and open the door!
We went for a nice Walk to the park and did a bunch of Perfect Pull Ups, that’s it.
Notes:
Thinking Caps Peeps: There is a reason you read a lot of “WE“ here daily … Increases in Individualistic Words and Phrases in American Books, 1960–2008
[…”These trends reflect a sea change in American culture toward more individualism,” says psychologist Jean Tweng] Source: HERE
Contrary to popular opinion there is some actual ground breaking Psychological Innovation going on around here, ENJOY!!!
You’re Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
Posted: July 10, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: Chinning, crossfit, exercise, fitness, free range, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, lululemon, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, Peaches, perspective, pilates, running, trail running, Walk, walking, whole foods, WOD, yoga 12 CommentsHe slept beneath the moon. He basked beneath the sun; He lived a life of going-to-do, And died with nothing done-
If there was ever a time to turn away from CultFit, today would be that day! The topic of discussion today is going to be neither coherent nor digestible and is probably easier read over a cup of absinthe rather than our customary cup of green tea. So on that note … If you are late to your 9am Cardio Blast or 10am WAD at the local “Box“? Look at the pretty pictures, all too real videos and carry on with your fine day…
You’re Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
And this concludes our conversation about staying true to yourself and not jumping onto the latest fitness trend(s) : You’re damned if you are too supportive to “these” people and you are damned if you’re not supportive enough.
Thank goodness we we’re Chinners here at CultFit HQ before it became “Hip” and mainstream … Look ‘Ma no kipping!?!
The Plan-
The Workout-
Trail Run/Bike/Swim/Hike/Walk as you see fit. Followed by:
20-30 Minutes of our classic “Plank Medley”.
Slice em and Dice em up as you see fit peeps although keep in mind: No plank will be held shorter than One Minute!
Notes:
Congrats and big pat on the back if you made it this far! Have a great day today and ENJOY!!!
Tuesday 3 July 2012
Posted: July 3, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: 4th of July, crossfit, exercise, fitness, gluten free, health, hipster, inversions, jogging, kettlebell, life, Live, love, lululemon, marathon, meditation, paleo, pilates, running, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 13 CommentsBorn too late to explore the world. Born too early to explore the universe-
Today’s Sign of the Apocalypse: Uncle Mo has set the over/under at 1000. The number of bloggers who are going to lament nauseously, screaming: “Look at this horrible disgusting food I have to eat tomorrow“. Guess we’ll just wait and see won’t we?
How many of you feel your current program is summed up in this pic:
That’s kinda what we were thinking as well. No worries though deer peeps!
The Plan-
The Workout-
Pulled with fear and trepidation from our “Don’t Be a Meretricious Idiot” series of programs here at CultFit HQ.
Our Warm Up today is the following: A little TM and a nice flowing Sun Salutation Series until you find some semblance of “grace”…
Take a moment to wipe the sweat from your brow and proceed with the following:
**TOP TIP– This program is an old Bouldering/Climbing progression we use a few times a year. If you DO NOT have a Rock Overhang/Double Pull Up Bars/Monkey Bars etc. PLEASE sub in Elevated Feet Perfect Push Ups and Elevated Hand Perfect Push Ups. Or just ask us for more ideas!**
30-45 Second Hand Stand Hold (Active and Pushing away from the floor. Your pretty little toes point to the sky!)
2 Hand Release Perfect Pull Ups…Perform one Pull Up and on the second pull- Release, grabbing the Bar/Rock above you. Perform a Strict Dead Hang Pull Up on this higher bar and return to the earth beneath you.
Form, Flow, Grace…10 times through would be pretty cool?!?
Notes:
If your idea of a good workout is AMRAP or Balls to the Wall/Middle Fingers to Form and Function? Skip this workout today because YOU WILL get hurt…Or maybe you like that in your program? Breaking news!!! Tomorrow is the 4th around these parts and you know what? It won’t kill you to forget about your paleo, gluten-free diet for one day and celebrate like the true ‘Merican you are…ENJOY!!!
CultFit 