Thursday 26 January 2012
Posted: January 26, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: fitness, health, jaba the hut, lazyness, motivation, perspective 4 CommentsWe don’t live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perceptions-
Batten down the hatches and pour a warm cup of tea. This message has been building momentum since the turn of the year: The Tabata Pandemic
9623 peeps will read this bloviated message today and of said group of well intended fitness gurus, 9623 peeps will still not get it! Those are the facts deal with them as you like?!?
We pride ourselves on our exactitude. As you’ll see from this post, we provide copious detail and try to be as precise as possible when describing the ways in which the Tabata Method thrives on the victimization of others. The first thing we want to bring up is that the Tabata Method will fail you miserably. We’ll probably devote a separate post to that topic alone, but for now we’ll simply summarize by stating that if we had to choose the most depraved specimen from the Tabata Method’s welter of saturnine gabble, it would have to be the Tabata Method’s claim that it has achieved sainthood. For a variety of reasons, some strategic, some ideological, some attitudinal, and all of them wrong, unholy, delusional ignoramuses delegitimize our belief systems and replace them with a counter-hegemony that seeks to calumniate helpless pillocks. We have always assumed that the Tabata Method’s disquisitions are written in a peculiar doublespeak that is hard for the uninitiated to understand, but the fact of the matter is that the Tabata Method should think about how its treatises lead what we call scabrous lugs to impose theological straightjackets on scriptural interpretation. If the Tabata Method doesn’t want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet. Let us end by appealing to our collective sense of humanity: Repeating something over and over does not make it true.
“What in the hell is this?”
The Plan-
If you made it this far? Take a deep breath and relax. You obviously know how to use the internet so pull up the old Google Machine and search away Tabata Method…
We recently asked the question to a motivated focus group here at CultFit HQ: Define the Tabata Method in under 10 words? The usual suspects emerged…CrossFit, Intervals, Intensity, Pinterest, Yoga (we called BS on this one), Blah Blah.
Leave it to Uncle Hayden to step in and offer this juicy bit of knowledge that he read from an actual real live living book, of all things!
“Your doing it wrong!” None of the readers here today have even remotely come close to 170% of VO2 MAX- EVER!!!
The Workout-
Rest Day…
Although we are working on a new protocol called the Jabata Method: 25 Seconds of Work followed by 5 Seconds of rest for 4 rounds.
Notes:
Rest up today, stay healthy and ENJOY!!!
Wednesday 25 January 2012
Posted: January 25, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: biking, fitness, health, motivation, perspective, pushups, swimming, walking 1 CommentIn the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer-
What’s your excuse?
The Plan-
You know what? A good rattling of the old body and brain is always a good thing, right? The program today parlays nicely with what we did yesterday although if you did not heed our warning about mid line stability? Today is going to be hell and will expose a lot of weaknesses you need to address soon.
The Workout-
From our “Oh Wait…” series at CultFit HQ:
Bike or Swim for an hour followed by:
150 Hinge Walkout Perfect Push Ups (Five Second Count)
For those of you playing at home this is how you go about doing it:
Feet together toes spread out grabbing the floor.
Hands on hips – Hinge sliding hands down the back of the legs.
Walk forward to a High Push Up Plank position – You should be on your tippy toes!
Five Second count Perfect Push Up – Hinge and walk hands back up your legs to standing. Rinse and Repeat!
This is toro mierda (jajaja)!!! “150 of these damn things!” Yup, 10 walk outs and 15 Perfect Push Ups each time. Should take about 15 minutes if you didn’t mess something up yesterday…Hmm?!?
Notes:
Nothing like performing something that is so easy on paper and coming to the realization that the movements serve a purpose and have meaning. Don’t look at these last two programs as something adverse, rather see them as a challenge to persevere through, ENJOY!!!
Friday 20 January 2012
Posted: January 20, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: fitness, health, life, motivation, perspective, recovery, rest 1 CommentThe rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken-
So what have we been bloviating about all week for? Over 2000 loaded words never truly getting to the meaning of our message. Sometimes the prolixity of what we do to ourselves is nauseating and we quite never realize what we are doing until, well…we get injured or those last few precious breathes we take.
Simply: Until you are completely and utterly comfortable with who you are. You will never be able to achieve what you want to be.
2000 words or 23…which path do you want to take?
The Plan-
The Workout-
There is no time or restrictions today. Find balance and peace in whatever you may do, this is what we did here at CultFit HQ:
Quite Meditation Drifting away and focusing energy on any nagging injuries or pain
Leg Drains and Inversions
Notes:
Rest up over the weekend and have fun with the family or some close friends, ENJOY!!!
Thursday 19 January 2012
Posted: January 19, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: fitness, health, motivation, perspective, running, walking, workout 1 CommentIt is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise-
If you have to think about this next question…we’ll be sure to say a quick prayer for you later this evening. Can you remember the exact moment the last time you smiled while working out?
An honest smile, like seeing a newborn kiddo or the first time little dude rides his bike without training wheels? Not LolCat or some lame ass MeMe stuff you dug up in the bathroom this morning.
Entertain this thought today as you go about your daily Random Fitness routine: Exercise as you would play.
The Plan-
CultFit HQ Motivation:
Nicely done!
Pintrest-Fitness Motivation:
Nice, at what cost?
Our Science and Advanced Quantum Research Lab here at CultFit HQ looks at it this way when it comes to motivation, desire, passion, pleasure. The more you look at and pull your motivations from others the less desire you actually develop and foster within yourself. We have a behavioral addiction support peep on staff if you care to opine?
The Workout-
Rest Day
We are taking a moment today to step outside ourselves, step back and look at the big picture. At what price would you pay to look your best now only to be crippled and bed ridden later in life? Not saying that is going to happen to you, so step back. It may happen and if it does…What will you do?
Notes:
Thank you to all of you that took a few precious seconds away from checking your Facebook status to send us a kind email about the topic yesterday. We understand it was painful, we honestly do. And because we like to kick the hornet’s nest from time to time. We have this to ask of you: If you have to use social media to justify your existence in the world today? Does that mean you are a Slacktivist?
Tuesday 17 January 2012
Posted: January 17, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, fitness, health, life, motivation, perspective, press, pull, push Leave a commentIn matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock-
The Plan-
Pull up a chair this morning as old Uncle Mortis would like to have a quick word with you. Hmm, where to begin? How about this, If you the dear reader approached us here stating: “Like check it out Uncle Mortis, I just totally destroyed my workout/program and myself to boot! How cool is that?” Yeah that’s pretty cool if that is what you really wanted to achieve. Our bodies are amazingly resilient and our minds infinitely stuck on stupid. Keep that in mind as you go about your business today and what the hell, the rest of the week.
The Workout-
Pulled from our “On the Minute” series here at the esteemed CultFit HQ archives…
At the top of every minute for 15 minutes, complete 2-3 get ups, alternating arms, using a 2 pood kb. If you cannot use the prescribed weight, use your brain and figure something out. Followed by:
DB Single Arm Rows
Two rounds of:
20 seconds/Right Arm
20 seconds/Left Arm
Rest 1 minute
Find a steady grove/balance/pace and lose yourself in these movements for 15 minutes: Reps absolutely do not matter!
Kettlebell Swings, 1.5 pood
DB Push Press, 50#
Notes:
For the new peeps here at CultFit HQ: Time and reps are of no real importance to us here in terms of achieving a “Good Program”. Quality of the movement and pace are paramount, ENJOY!!!
CultFit 