Friday 13 April 2012
Posted: April 13, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, desire, drama, exercise, fitness, free range, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, passion, perspective, pilates, recovery, relationships, rest, running, sex, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 13 CommentsThe best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up-
Today’s sign of the Apocalypse:
Some of you reading this fine morning may or may not know that the 116th running of the Boston Marathon is going down this weekend. You also may or my not know (who really cares) that one of our dear team members here, Sister Margaret has been in Boston all week preparing for the run. We kindly asked her to sit down and write a little exposé about the ‘Merican running community. Before we get to her scathing piece…What is up with Boston anyways? Who really cares about that city? Now its common knowledge that the “real” Boston is in Lincolnshire home of the majestic St Botolph’s Church and not some lame, wanna be spoiled rotten sports city. Anyways…
…Is Christian Grey running this year or not? I sincerely hope so, Holy crap: Americans are so bland and two-dimensional!
Something titillating happened during the course of being amongst a gathering of local runners during the past few days, the proverbial light bulbs started to flicker then they finally managed to fully illuminate themselves. These events were eerily similar to reading an old Penny Dreadful when I was younger. Why is it that everyone seems to feel uncomfortable about having their inner and outer selves virtually delineated? Just yesterday I spotted a young woman craftily dressed for the running occasion reading the dreadful and horribly written book Fifty Shades of Grey at an outdoor cafe for lunch. Getting off on a little light spanking and unarousing sex scenes while sipping on her crisp Perrier. Oh, almost forgot: munching on a fresh cheese plate as well. I could keenly tell her inner temperature and desire were rising, how? The sweat outlined fingers grasping her iPad and the salacious look gripping her face.
Then I started to think about this in broader terms. Today you can Google: “Fitness” and in .019 seconds you get your daily dose of erotic movements served to you to fill your every desire. Beautiful men and women barely clothed, steaming with sweat…Holy Crap!!! I could care less what movements they are performing, I want the virtual image of perceived hard work in my head during the run this Sunday!
Back in the old days there was something dreadful about running for miles on end. Where do I pull my motivation for the final 15 miles? Remember when your were a kid back in the day at the local corner store trying to build up the courage to buy the June issue of Pent House (gals have their faves as well) in 1980? “I look to young. There is no way the man behind the counter will sell it to me! Dear God what if my parents find out?” The sooner we admit that nobody needs a seedy magazine to see nudity in today’s world…
So it should come as no surprise now that everyone (and I mean everyone) is hyper obsessed with fitness/health because it’s easy, sexy and extremely assessable. Do you engage in a running routine or pull your motivation for a hard workout from a scantily glad stud who you perceive is begging to see some secret potential in you? From what I can surmise: The only times you are thoroughly motivated to run or workout is when you finish a chapter of fifty Shades of Grey and open the Pinterest app to find a hot young man to keep you company for the last few miles. And for the love of god if I hear one more yoga mom here ask: “Is this cheese plate paleo friendly?”
The Plan-
Inner drive, passion, desire to achieve the unachievable…Holy Crap!!!
The Workout-
Let’s have some fun before the weekend begins…You will need a park, an open space and some friends and family.
Tag Running/Sprinting to Warm Up: Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who tags first! Do that for however long…Followed by:
Our Warm Up for the week and 20 or so minutes on the Monkey Bars.
Play around and have fun!
Notes:
What drives you? Sex, passion or pleasure? We sincerely wish all of you reading today a healthy and fun-filled weekend, ENJOY!!!
**If you have read Fifty Shades of Grey…You know what Holy Crap is all about…**
Thursday 12 April 2012
Posted: April 12, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: active rest, blogging, crossfit, exercise, fitness, free range, fun, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, lululemon, marathon, mobility, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, rest, running, test. abs, trail running, walking, WOD, workout, yoga 22 CommentsNo one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one-
Thursdays never seem to arrive quick enough during the week, do they? There are a million other things to do on any other ordinary Thursday. Sometimes we like to compare the ingredients in organic brown rice? Other times there is a Arnica Oil on the market that simply sounds too good to be true. In the end we consider Thursdays a time to step back and reflect on all the amazing things happening around us…You know what? It’s “Best Caption Wins Something” time:
The Plan-
The Workout-
Your choice…Either a nice refreshing Rest Day or one of our fave workouts pulled from our “Don’t Stop, Don’t Puke” series here at CultFit HQ?
If you choose the workout? Well, it’s not much of a workout but rather a nasty little test we like to do from time to time to chart progress amongst our dear followers.
Today’s Top Tip for aspiring fitness albóndigas: You can learn more watching someone walk and performing a plank than you can HSPU’s or prone running.
The Test: Hinge Walk Out to a High Push Up Plank…Feet together, Hinge, Walk your Hands out to a High Plank Position, Head in a neutral position and actively pushing through the floor with your delicate little hands.
Anything less than three minutes and you fail our test. There is no amount of crunches, ab mat situp’s, yoga, core blast, 6 weeks to a 6 pack routines you can do to prepare for this today.
If at anytime you lose stability in your upper body, STOP. If your hips drop, STOP. If you start building tension in your neck, STOP!!! If you seriously want to mess yo self up disregard the previous notes!?!
Hinge, Walkout, High Plank…How hard could it be?
Notes:
By all means give our test a go and see where you stand. Some glaring weaknesses will present themselves after 30 seconds…Most importantly do this safely and ENJOY!!!
Wednesday 11 April 2012
Posted: April 11, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, exercise, fitness, gluten free, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, life, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, pilates, recovery, rest, trail running, walking, WOD, yoga 15 CommentsI’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball-
**WARNING- Science content today!!!**
Proprioceptive Exercises “…What in the bloody hell are those?” Good thing you asked, watch this video real quick and we’ll catch up with you in a minute…
Do you see the “mood” switch on the wall across the room? If you don’t mind could you flip it to: Kill?
We have devised a test this morning to weed out the ELITE/EXTREME fitness aficionados: We challenge you to maintain postural control for 20 seconds while performing a single limb squat at 60 degrees of knee flexion.
Let’s get this straight before we go any further: You want to punish yourself and others by engaging in highly technical lifts and or movements. But you can’t stand on one leg for 20 seconds? Pull out your trusty goniometer and figure out where 60 degrees is at and give it a go.
“Why should I care? I’m young, healthy and love getting my hands dirty during warrior dashes and flipping tires?” Basically, your inability to maintain postural control may amplify limb to limb strength deficits during a functional task. That’s all…Crawl, Walk, Run…Systematic progression peeps (four people know why this is important)! Oh and if you are one of “those” less than authentic blog-o-types…Try our test with your eyes closed!!! If you do it at home no one will know that you failed…
The Plan-
The Workout-
Say hello to your new “friend” today:
On the surface he is pretty harmless, smooth and hard as a lacrosse ball…(JaJa Perv!?!) Before we get started let’s go through our Warm Up this week and work into a thick lather…
Find a nice hard wall somewhere: Basement, squash court, house, back of your hubby’s head? You will also need a partner as you cheat, quite often as a matter of fact! This is what we did at CultFit HQ:
We used an exterior wall and a neighbor hood rug rat amped up on a Five Hour, grape flavor! Actively get into a loaded jumping stance and have the kid throw the “thing” off the wall in front of you. Your job is to catch it before it hits the ground, oh and by the way: It never comes off the wall at an angle your mind expects it to, that’s the secret to this program today!
Do this for about 30 minutes…If you miss to your LEFT? 40m Sprint (out and back)…Miss to your RIGHT? 20 Perfect Push Ups. Miss HIGH or LOW? 50 4 Count Jumping Jacks.
“… Ah shucks Uncle Mo I don’t have one of those “things”, looks like I won’t being doing this today!” Not so fast! Any sort of ball works as long as you are not the one throwing it! Even hockey pucks work!!! Give the kid a Monster instead and prepare to be humbled really, really quick!
Some fitness programs proclaim they prepare you for the unexpected with some lame WOD or whatever. This is legit and seriously hard!!!
Notes:
Because we value you, our dear reader. Tomorrow the choice of topic is up to you: Altered Joint Loading or how Fifty Shades of Grey is worse than a penny dreadful? Get outside if you can and have a blast giving the program today a go! Most importantly be safe and ENJOY!!!
Tuesday 3 April 2012
Posted: April 3, 2012 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, exercise, fitness, health, hipster, intensity, jogging, kettlebell, life, marathon, motivation, natural, paleo, perspective, recovery, rest, running, walking, yoga 31 CommentsBenjamin is nobody’s friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavour, he’d be pralines and dick-
Spring is in the air and nothing quite captures or so eloquently describes the essence of what it means to us here…This Dude, We worship at his feet:
We have a dirty little secret we need to confess to you this morning: We genuinely do not like weight training. More specifically, destination weight training like driving to a gym to pick up stuff and gently put it down. Long time readers know why this is true: Its tedious, limited and boring. Scientific studies have shown that exercising helps you live a longer life…A longer life to spend in the gym!?!
Ask yourself this morning as you drive off to the gym in your fancy new yoga pants that scream look at my glorious rear(this applies to you as well chico)…Why do I want to live longer in the gym?
The Plan-
The Workout-
As always: Outside in the elements, with the kids/family/friends…
Spend 10 Minutes Tumbling (Forward rolls-Backwards etc…Loosen Up)
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 Inverted Rows (Playgrounds are full of spots to do these) followed by:
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 Feet Up Perfect Push Ups (Park Bench? Swings…?!?) followed by:
3-5 Perfect Pull Ups
And now the fun part! Look off into the distance, not through the trees maybe right up to them? Ready…Walking Lunge’s all the way until you finally reach a pine tree and want to give it a big hug!!! 400 to 800 Meters maybe?
If you are feeling frisky feel free to pick up little Jasper and carry him in a Rack Position or Over the Shoulder? And why would Inverted Rows and Walking Lunges be important…Feel free to comment if you have an idea?
Notes:
As always play around with the rep scheme this morning to something that may suit you better. It truly is awesome to do this stuff outside…Granted there are more people looking at you like you are insane and delusional. The albóndigas at the gym miss you right now. Be safe and ENJOY!!!
Tuesday 1 November 2011
Posted: November 1, 2011 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: crossfit, cultfit, elite program, elite yoga, Farmers walk, goblet, grip, hipster, intensity, kettlebell, push ups, random fitness, WOD, X-Fit yoga, yoga Leave a commentLearning is not compulsory… neither is survival-
Hopefully everyone made it home in one piece after Halloween last night. The individual below on the other hand…
The Plan-
It’s time to be completely honest with us here at CultFit HQ Random Fitness peeps. How many of you just roll right through your given workout without giving any thought to what you are actually doing? We thought so and it changes today. Listen to your body the rest of the week…
The Workout-
Not for time…
20m Heavy Farmers Walk…Followed by:
20 Perfect Push Ups
3 Goblet Squat Holds
We prefer you do this first set barefoot for the following reason: Actively spread your toes during each step and grip the floor beneath you. If you feel you are a danger to your well-being and stand the chance of dropping the weights…Don’t. Every movement we do is under control and planned with a purpose. Heavy Farmers Walks give us the perfect opportunity to perform single rep dead-lift right?
20m Heavy Farmers Walk…Followed by:
20 Perfect Push Ups
3 Goblet Squat Holds
Quick feet this time while still gripping the floor. Big chest and chin up, paying more attention to your core stability. Open No thumb), loose grip on the weight.
20m Heavy Farmers Walk…Followed by:
20 Perfect Push Ups
3 Goblet Squat Holds
Gently and importantly, under control lean forward and let gravity assist during this set.
20m Heavy Farmers Walk…Followed by:
20 Perfect Push Ups
3 Goblet Squat Holds
Notes: During the last set put all the pieces together and walk it out until your grip fails you. ENJOY!!!
CultFit 