Behind the Scene(s)

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance-

In writing this blog-o-thing, I am doing what many other passionate and authentic people do: Taking the flow of my daily struggles and sharing it openly with you. The conversation we often have, like life; Is chaotic, awkward, tedious and associative.

I don’t know how to convey my feelings at times, words stumble from my fingertips and fall deftly onto the screen. Like life itself, this flow, this blog  YOU  Are intrinsically nourishing.

I can’t look YOU in the eye this morning, to find the courage to say “I am fully there This awkward awareness serves as my antidote to urgency and anger.

With your caring, continued support. I know without any shred of doubt, that my contribution here will be forever useful to the extent I can shift from being motivated by the desire to see results in my life: Likes, Follows, How long I can hold a pose, Being the best dad, A better lover, A better friend

Dependence on results cannot but compromise my True Strength.

Daily Meditation:

Sometimes what’s most painful for me is the conviction I have of just how simple it would be To love and share enough to satisfy everyone’s basic needs; to create a flow of kindness.

CultFit Forest


así (que) sin

I set out to discover the why of it, and to transform my pleasure into knowledge-

I ask myself this morning, running in from the rain:

What does it take to receive myself with an open heart?

Every encounter we have during the day, life changes us. Every fleeting experience rewires a part of our consciousness. We are constantly changing. To truly befriend ourselves, to be open to who and what we are, we can practice the willingness to discover ourselves anew.

What do we actually know about our intimate selves? We have “experts” who flippantly tell us what is “right” and “wrong.” We have “standards” that we are “supposed” to meet, against which other people will measure us. We have competitions we can enter that will allow us to “win” and to “lose.

To discover ourselves requires us to look at who we are without bias and certainly without judgment(s). It requires us not to measure, not to compete. It requires us to receive ourselves with the willingness to discover ourselves, just as we are, right now, with a pure heart.

Daily Meditation:

Practice befriending yourself, open your hearts in receptive curiosity.

CultFit View


ahiṃsā

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway-

I have perseverated on this blog post for weeks. There are at least 15 drafts of it. I can’t put my finger on why it’s been so hard for me to finish and click *publish*. In essence this is really a simple post:

I value kindness

Being kind functions as a mindfulness action for me personally, kindness after all is my daily meditation whilst enjoy an apple during a cool afternoon walk. If I can take but a tiny step away from the emotion(s) of the moment and see myself separate from the world spinning around me, only then in this tender moment, do I embrace the chance to act in my best interest, and not just reacting.

To be kind. To forgo the thrill of the harsh joke, making fun, judging and taking advantage of others, reveling in the ensuing laugh in favor of kindness.

Or maybe the reason I was reluctant to open my heart to you was because those of you who follow my blog or know me in real life, know how far short of kindness, I repeatedly trip and falldaily. Kindness is as subtle as a leaf underfoot, so easily forgotten and trampled

And I lack subtlety.

Daily Kindness Meditation:

To bring into your heart …

If you can, help and serve others, but if you can’t at least don’t harm them; then in the end you will feel no regret.”

Dalai Lama

CultFit Ripple


Just(Keep)You

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable-

BlahBlahBlah: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone or anything else. Where have you read these words before 

As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most tender. When this happens, we feel freedom, we are granted permission to love in a deeper sense.

There is no amount of positive self-talk that can replicate this experience. Too many times I witness caring people using will power as an excuse to fight through a yoga class. Intimacy and love will not be found here

If our vulnerability is met with struggle or disinterest, feeling pressured into attending practice. Something brilliantly tender shrivels up and retracts within us, we often lament about ever sharing this part of ourselves again. When our authentic self fails to  “work” on a yoga mat (or whatever), we create a false self which lets us feel safe and accepted, although at a significant cost.

Every time we face the choice to share our deeper self, we stand at a precipice. Often, it’s just too scary to take the first step forward

Notes:

How do we free ourselves from the thrall of shame thrown on us, the ever pressing need to succumb to societal norms? The fear of being our true selves?

I wish I could tell you, I sincerely do. I do know that for whatever reason, you are here reading this drab post, and this means everything to me. Be well this weekend and please take care!

CultFit Fall

 


A Long and Gracious Fall

A long and gracious fall this year.
The leaves are down. Gardens: emptied,
manured, tilled, smooth, and waiting.
Mower and tiller serviced and put away.

Smoker put away, as is the summer table.
Prayer flags, windsocks and their poles: down.
Twenty-foot homemade badminton poles,
peace flag at the top of one, store-bought net—
all down and put away for another year. No more
outdoor summer chores.

Fall planting — peonies and tiger lilies — done.
Summer flower stalks removed, beds mulched,
a blanket for the cold. Fall pruning done.

Woodshed roof hammered down and sealed again.
Cellar closed. Drive staked and flagged so the
snowplow knows where to go.

What else is there to do? Finally, for once, we are ready
for the snow. Ready now to come inside. Time now for
words and music, poems and shakuhachi. Time now
to light some incense, sit and stare at candlelight.

– David Budbill

CultFit Winter