Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour-
Search “self-help” this morning using your WordPress reader, and you are likely to find a billion posts listed under “self-esteem.” Let’s be fully open and honest – The sole purpose of these posts is to not only tell you why your self-esteem is suffering, but rather to guide your delicate heart to more of it.
Why is this so?
Self esteem is considered the pinnacle of true individual success. How can we possibly get ahead of the next person in life, unless we intimately believe we are perfect, and perfectly awesome!
In order to be perfectly awesome? We live in quiet terror of making mistakes in life, and we feel utterly devastated when we do. Our defense mechanism is to refocus our attention on the “things” we do well …
Stroking our own ego, relentlessly until our hearts forget this horrible episode of not being “awesome” and moving on to “something” more satisfying.
How does this relate to yoga practice, cycling, running and whatever else?
It’s important to understand, when I discuss self-compassion during a post … I’m discussion what self-compassion is not. Some folks like to think self-compassion is giving yourself a break, taking it easy. In essence self-compassion is simply accepting responsibility for, YOU. The difference lies not in where we end up during a flow of poses (the flow of life), but in how we process the ups and downs of the journey, our path in life.
Self-compassion is a willingness to look at our own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding – To err, is indeed human.
The “trick” in life is to allow ourselves to make mistakes without feeling humiliated … Tune in and take notice of your abilities, your actions, and evaluate what needs to be done “differently” next time around.
Compassion is the basis of morality-
Here is the flat-out, honest truth you have been searching for your entire life: You are going to screw up eventually.
Everyone, You, me – the dude picking his nose in the car next to you … Make many mistakes, daily.
A few times in the not so distant past, I have lamented painfully about self-compassion. Self-compassion (loosely defined) is the extent to which you treat yourself with kindness. Self-compassion differs from the likes self-esteem (its critical to note this), which is how good you feel about yourself. Self-compassion determines how well you spring back from adversity during the course of the day. Like getting down on ourselves when “things” go sideways … Treating ourselves and others with kindness, makes it infinitely easier to recover from harmful experience(s).
When our sole focus is intent on protecting our self-esteem, we can’t afford to look at ourselves objectively, honestly and with a pure heart. We fail to acknowledge the need for improvement, because it means acknowledging weaknesses, shortcomings and maybe – That we screwed up somewhere in our past …