The (I)ntro
Posted: September 27, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, crossfit, cycling, Darth Vader, Emotion, exercise, family, fitness, free range, freshly pressed, friends, gluten free, happiness, health, hipster, hope, intensity, Jedi, kettlebell, kindness, life, love, Luke Skywalker, lululemon, marathon, medicine, meditation, motivation, Motrin, musings, natural, nature, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Omaha, pain, Pain management, paleo, passion, running, star wars, WOD, writing, yoga 28 CommentsPain will come with time, but time will heal the pain-
Let the above quote settle in your heart for a moment …
Life can be full of emotional “roles” we take on. I am tired of trying to act out what others have created – written for me, and I want to define myself for who I really am, not what’s expected.
Of the 500+ blog posts I have written, this one has been by far the most challenging. Why? Because it is more Uncle Ben Kenobi then Luke Skywalker and while I like to think I can save the day, every day, for everyone, like an intergalactic heroine; I realize I must now save myself. I am not a fictional character but a simple dude figuring things out and sharing observations along the way. A simple dude who is learning that being healthy and pain-free is not a luxury to take lightly, it is part of my journey.
I’ve arrived to the conclusion that I need more than awareness, I need acceptance in my life. I am fully aware that I live with unwavering pain everyday, simply waking up in the morning (hell, I never fall sleep) is enough of a reminder.
I fully realize now (in this uncomfortable writing position) that awareness is the crisp sheet of Star Wars wrapping paper my lovely wife and I firmly wrap around our son’s birthday presents, with the gift(s) neatly stowed inside, and acceptance is the shredded aftermath of his fury: ribbons, bows, poorly taped boxes, and batteries I forgot to pick up the night before (because focusing on suppressing pain is all-consuming) … it is effort, function, and truth beyond projected images. They are both beautiful and play important roles in our life.
Awareness: I have always wanted to get better after each injury, heal faster, be healthier, listen to everyone’s problems, and take away everyone’s pain away without ever taking time to acknowledge my own. I’m terrified of pain … I want to be the poetic ideal that everyone believes I am. A friend, a father and husband with time and heart for all who come in need of a hug or a willing ear, to process a conversation or opinion without judgement. I want to meditate peacefully, perform yoga pain-free, be a better lover, and be honest and open to all I meet. Is that too much to be all of the time?
The answer of course is a resounding YES! Because after years of simply being aware of the pain, I am now laid barre writing to you, fully accepting where I am at in life.
Acceptance: I have always thought that simply not being in the grasp of the worst of my pain was in fact happiness. Everything these past few years has been a matter of comparison for me, I am a walking barometer of pain. I want to know what happiness truly feels like. Happiness is not skipping mega doses of pain medication(s) one morning in order to know I am alive today in comparison to yesterday when I was under the influence of too much Motrin. My days are filled sharing with others in hopes that they will come to know happiness. That they can work towards being better, that you are allowed to eat red velvet birthday cake, drink too much wine and be merry. You don’t have to suppress the joys of life to achieve some self-serving, vanity filled fitness goal! What others expect you to be …
Notes:
What follows is a note to myself:
I must take care of myself, not just so I can fulfill my obligations in life but to take care of those who love me.
Subir la Temperatura
Posted: September 24, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: Chamomile, cycling, exercise, family, FitBit, fitness, free range, Freinds, freshly pressed, gluten free, happiness, health, hipster, hope, kindness, life, love, lululemon, marathon, meditation, motivation, musings, natural, nature, nebraska, Omaha, passion, perspective, pilates, Poetry, relationships, running, sex, Stevia, Temptation, trail running, WOD, writing, writting, yoga 7 CommentsWhat the hell. The heart wants what the heart wants, right?-
The posts for the remainder of the year (for the most part) will be personal in nature, so please forgive the self-involvement in advance. I have worked extremely hard to omit painful personal stories from this blog-o-thing.
Every Fall, I like to engage in two very different sorts of bike rides (I’m into the cycling thing now although I do this with yoga almost every week during the year)—one with a group of good friends, and one alone, myself. These rides don’t have to be real long or strenuous, just long enough to get a clean break from the rigors of my day-to-day life. These moments of serenity each provide me with two very different experiences, and I intimately love both of them.
Although it’s the long free-flowing ride that I take by myself that gives me the time to reflect on where I am at (not lost in a cornfield …) and where I will be going.
This alone time affords me the luxury of taking as much time as I need to relax into a smooth rhythm, to delve deeper into the love that we are often too busy to enjoy and savor. Sleeping in late, enjoying a cup of chamomile tea – “A touch of soy milk and Stevia please.” Hanging out with no agenda, no races, no race prep, no FitBit trackers, no cell phones … Zero responsibilities, it’s as close to heaven as I can get in Nebraska.
We – You included – Have forgotten that there isn’t anything more important than taking time to restore our health, our spirit and mind(s). To reawaken and indulge our enjoyment of deep pleasure (re-read this post again later and preface it with the imagery of love, sex and passion … ), and to retreat into the sweet environment that supports the growth of our true selves.
When we stop being curious about who we really are and start thinking that we already “know” whatever, our intrinsic motivation to be curious, attentive, and engaged – weakens and slowly withers away into nothingness. Slaves to what is to be expected of us.
Notes:
What am I writing about this morning? Love, relationships, riding a bike, sex, yoga … Cool Fall evenings are tailored for our “delight“. Be well today and enjoy!
Child on Top of a Greenhouse
Posted: September 19, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, compassion, family, friends, gardening, happiness, health, kindness, life, love, nature, Poem, Poetry, Prose, Theodore Roethke, writing, yoga 5 Comments…
The wind billowing out the seat of my britches,
My feet crackling splinters of glass and dried putty,
The half-grown chrysanthemums staring up like accusers,
Up through the streaked glass, flashing with sunlight,
A few white clouds all rushing eastward,
A line of elms plunging and tossing like horses,
And everyone, everyone pointing up and shouting!
The Urge
Posted: September 18, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, Creativity, crossfit, cycling, exercise, family, fitness, freshly pressed, friends, gluten free, happiness, health, hipster, kindness, life, love, lululemon, marathon, nature, Omaha, passion, pilates, ramblings, running, Temptation, whole foods, WOD, writing, yoga 16 CommentsNo evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from-
Many of us currently live in a culture, a society so to speak where we are expected to eat healthy, drink the freshest of coconut water(s) and purchase “things“, many of which we don’t need. It’s our duty to be faithful consumers of what we are force-fed via advertisements in Runners World and Yoga Whatever.
What are we to do to look after ourselves in a culture that is certainly not looking out for us?
Avoid temptation – Yeah like this is easy … There are many temptations in today’s world, don’t believe me? Resist the temptation to click Here. Whatever you do, do not click this link!!!
Will you fail this seemingly simple temptation?
Motivation is the answer we are seeking. Motivation to persevere, even when our self-control has been run down, pushed to its limit!
Notes:
The idea that I am proposing is that by regularly exercising our willpower in one aspect of our lives (resisting adverts etc), it will lead to a stronger sense of self, willpower in many other areas of our lives as well.
(W)ill
Posted: September 17, 2013 Filed under: Random Workout | Tags: blogging, compassion, crossfit, cycling, exercise, family, fitness, free range, freshly pressed, friends, gluten free, goals, happiness, hipster, kindness, life, Loss, love, lululemon, nature, Omaha, Plans, running, whole foods, writing, yoga 9 CommentsHard to say what’s right when all I wanna do is wrong-
Who doesn’t like planning? Planning workouts for the week, running events for the coming month, yoga class flow, playlist for cardio kick boxing class. It should come as no surprise to hear that “planning” is generally a good “thing” to do …
This is the point in our lovely post this evening when I tell you that all our grandiose plans are pretty much useless.
“How so?” Most of our plans and goals are not structured in a way that makes them effective if life, “things” go sideways for a spell.
If and Will plans, on the other hand, I have found to be extremely effective to staying the course and making them is an extremely empowering tool to helping you achieve your goal(s).
The trick is deciding well in advance when and where you will the take steps to achieving your goal. Quick example: “If I am falling behind on my training, I Will choose to schedule the time to train.”
Notes:
When it comes to reaching your goals, because you will reach them – avoiding temptation is critical, focusing on replacing bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves is vitally important.
Ask yourself the next time things start to go sideways, What will I do to get back on track!?!
CultFit 