Start Where : You : Are

Nobody can hurt me without my permission-

The dictionary loosely defines equanimity as “mental calmness and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.” Equanimity refers to a mind that is at peace even in the face of stressful and unpleasant experiences.

Many, if not all of us have experienced this dissatisfaction. The absence of peace arises from our longing for our live(s) to be different, even when we have absolutely no control over the particular circumstance(s) in question.

After sharing my numerous injuries and “circumstances” with you over the past four or so years, I have spent countless posts lamenting, nauseously, for my life to be the way it was before the surgeons incisions healed. The constant complaining found in the archives here, have made me miserable to be around. Gradually, with the help of some amazing and caring people (like you) – I came to witness that our lives have their share of both joy and suffering, and the only way I could find peace again was to stop trying to change circumstances over which I had no control of, and instead, choosing to start where I am at in this beautiful moment.

When I see that I am not just suffering, when I am not just frustration or sadness. When I notice during yoga class I’m not super flexible or the perfect manifestation of a particular pose  Equanimity helps me to calmly wait for “things” to change.

Daily Meditation:

With equanimity, I try to start each day with where I am, looking around to see what life has to offer.

CultFit You


How Deep is the : Ocean :

Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.-

When I became chronically “injured” over five years ago, I was forced to trade the exciting life of an aspiring athlete for the isolation of my own mind The loneliness was dense, palpable at times, it was hard to distinguish between the injury I was struggling through at the time and the loneliness that gripped me all of the time.

Back in the wonder years, I found being alone anything but glorious, and far from being soothing. It wasn’t even remotely sweet and delicious. Although, a close friends advice that yoga was what I needed  planted a delicate seed in my mind, and so I began to explore the meaning of “being alone.” I realized early on that being alone on my mat, in and of itself, is neither positive nor negative. This profound feedback described a good portion of my life trying to be someone who I was not – The painful loneliness of striving to be better than the person next me on the starting line or the glorious solitude of going home broken and empty-handed.

The spiritual manifestation of yoga (not to be confused with the physical) and a deeply rooted mindfulness “practice” showed me that if I could let go of the desire to win at all costs, I might be able to open my heart and soul to the possibility that life could be sweet, maybe even delicious?!? I gradually warmed to the quiet calm of my mind, mindfully following my breath entering and leaving my body. My powers of observation, began to bloom – noting the subtle details swirling around me, details that in the past – Escaped me, like the play of sunlight reflecting from the metallic rims on the road as I cycle along or leaves dancing carelessly in the air on a windy fall morning.

Daily Meditation:

Once I opened my heart and soul to being alone, my loneliness did become sweet and delicious. And some days, when all is calm, it’s even beautiful. Cultivating self-compassion more so than anything else, softens my loneliness and pain, which in turn makes me smile.

 Rachelle, Jeff, Cheryl – Sandra, Jim, Katelon, Alyssa, Susie – Michelle, Sara and Maia. To all of you who have “followed” my ramblings from the beginning – My sincerest gratitude for your kindness and support. There truly is no way I can accurately put into words how much you have helped me – Thank you.

CultFit Lonliness

Sinister : Rogue :

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana-

Often, in our self-absorbed naiveté, we believe time to be infinite in nature. Oddly enough, time as we are experiencing it, right now in this wonderful moment Is the one “thing” in our lives of which we can be absolutely certain of (I am deeply grateful for you being here with me right now). Why then, do we insist on spending our precious time consumed with how many followers we have on WordPress, or perusing the latest “Likes” on FaceTube, rather than being engaged in our lives?

The past few weeks I have been paying more attention to the virtual world, instead of the real world. Rather than being fully engaged in the fleeting moments before me, moments that, for their own nuanced reasons, are even more precious than most. A none too subtle slap upside my head brought me back in time, and this abrupt moment prompted me to begin thinking about just how much distraction we volunteer for on a daily basis, and how much it impacts what we have come to consider “meaningful” in our lives.

The end result of my introspection is a simple question I often fail to ask when I’m distracted – “What’s important in this beautiful moment?!?

The scrambled priority of our lives keeps us from savoring each sip of our morning coffee, or enjoying conversation with a dear friend, or going for an early ride/walk/hike and enjoying the sun rising gently on the horizon.

Daily Meditation:

The view that we no longer notice.

CultFit Rogue

 

 


Best for : You :

The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance-

I was speaking with a close friend this past weekend and he asked me – quite bluntly like most dudes do, what change(s) since I ended the “reign of terror” on my body had the greatest impact on my being able to “compete” again? <– whatever this means. He waited patiently for me to share my “bad-ass” – “hardcore” training plan with him as we sipped our coffee during a frigid mid ride stop The answer he eagerly awaited never arrived. As many of my longtime readers may know, the change(s) I made in my life were due in part to neglecting and abusing my body for many years. Moving on, after a long awkward pause I finally answered his question: I get up at 4 a.m. – Every single day. His response, in typical dude fashion was: “Why?!?” – Why wake at four in the morning?

I simply, love waking up early. I get to be myself before the little one wakes up for the day. It’s peaceful early in the morning, and the world awakening around me feels calm and serene. The subtle gift of time speaks to my soul. You have to meet yourself there, early one morning to experience it – Dude.

Daily Meditation:

We fail to realize the rejuvenate energy given to us in the morning as we rush straight through it – Rushing to the gym to count reps mindlessly, updating our social status to let the world know we attended a 5:30 am yoga class. Such is the ebb and flow of life

CultFit Morning

 

 


: Where Shale I Go :

Where shall I go when all the music and festivities are in my own house? My heart is content where I am, My mind has folded its wings. The Guru has revealed that Brahman is in my heart. If I wander outside, I will see the worship of stones and others vainly seeking the Lord in the holy books. The Guru has ended all my failures and delusions. Ramanand is now lost gazing at his Master, Brahman. It was the Word of the Guru that destroyed all my millions of attachments and distractions.

– Ramanand

CultFit Reveal