(A) Gentle Dissolve

My past is everything I failed to be-

I often find that “sometimes” I lose patience with myself. I want to think, feel and act differently than I do; naturally my inclination is to tell myself to just be different, in these ways: Think, Feel and Act differently. Spoiler Alert – When this doesn’t happen, I become frustrated and try harder, push and struggle even harder. Rather than making any meaningful progress, I just end up being brutally harsh with myself. Despite my best intentions, this approach does not and will not help – Shocker.

Maybe what some of us are failing to take into account is the part of ourselve(s), that’s not quite ready to change yet. No matter what the reason is, or what the excuse is today.

This is why folks … We need to approach “life” gently.


Identifying self-criticism and practicing self-compassion? Who would had ever thought that a happier you would be a healthier you? Without ever doing some workout or whatever …

CultFit Shine

13 Comments on “(A) Gentle Dissolve”

  1. bipolarmuse says:

    Have to put in serious work to learn how to be compassionate to myself… I work on it though, nothing comes over night.

    • CultFit says:

      You are so right, self-compassion is a gentle and timely practice, key word being “practice” … Keep it up! 🙂
      Thank you so much for stopping over today, take care and be well!

  2. I’ve noticed – with myself – that when I WAS really hard on myself about every. little. thing. – it was because I had no discernment. I expected perfection from myself in everything. And because it was hard for me to love imperfect things, I was afraid that I could not be loved if I was imperfect. Thus the drive to perfection…and crazytown…and bitchytown…and unhappytown. When I started recognizing that there were imperfect things that I loved – that someone else could make a mistake and I could still love them – that these LOVEABLE HUMAN BEINGS are not perfect and yet still so lovely – I started letting myself be imperfect. Even embracing it. Wrapping my arms around all the foibles and flaws that make me uniquely me – including the ways that I completely screw things up sometimes. And in the absence of abhorring all the imperfection – the gap in negative space – came discernment. There are some things you should be really hard on yourself about. And you should say you’re sorry and do your best to make the aftermath peaceful – and then forgive yourself – because you’ve done all you can do. But these really important things that you should be hard on yourself about get lost in cacophony if you’re really hard on yourself about everything.

    Pick your battles with yourself as you would a good friend. Forgive yourself as you would your child. For both of these things are within us and should be turned towards us.

    • CultFit says:

      I had a string of bad days of late, work, stress not listening and paying attention to my body … Doing a little too much, more than I should be doing. During times such as these, I’m not a very good friend to myself. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, I sincerely hope thoughts of peace and happiness fill your heart today … take care!

  3. Why is it self criticism is so easy. Compassion is so fleeting. Something I truly do need to find. 🙂 I hope your ride home was wonderful!

    • CultFit says:

      You’ll discovery compassion soon enough, when you least except it! You bring up a rather deep and interesting question about self criticism that I am going to try to address tomorrow and maybe next week … Unless I see a shiny object before then and get distracted. 😉 The ride(s) home after work, are always the best!

      • Haha! Squirrel! At work today I was talking and someone walked by the door carrying a baby and I literally turned my head and said “baby”.

        I look forward to this post….tomorrow or after you see something shiny…..

  4. It is so easy to turn inward when things are not going well. I have spent my lifetime building other people while consistently ripping myself apart. It has been a long hard battle to look in the mirror and recognize my perfection. Not anyone else;s version of perfection, but my own.
    Learning to love myself, quirks and all, has been the longest journey of my life. I realized earlier this evening unless I love me unconditionally, no one else can, not because I am not worthy, but because of the walls I build.

    Thanks for the post. It really drove home the lesson.

    • CultFit says:

      You are more than welcome and thank you so much for sharing such a powerful and vulnerable story, a story in which I share with you. 🙂
      Be well today friend and take care!

  5. […] wrote a comment on another blog (if you don’t follow Cultfit you should) that I wanted to share over here too – mainly because this is something I need […]

  6. We all tend to be hardest on ourselves. I know I am. I try not to expect as much from myself any more, but then I feel like I am not reaching my full potential. Like everything, there’s a balance to be found, I guess.

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