Other Direction(s)

I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched-

What could possibly call into question every small way that I interact with my surroundings? Years ago I would had been surprised, shocked at what was happening to me, not today, not anymore.

This brilliant morning, while the sun gently warms my skin, I am deeply aware of how non-violence has been completely woven into the fabric of my being. Over the years I have unprotected myself, repeatedly injured myself, sufficiently enough to feel the love of protection and with it, the drawing down of my truly nonviolent options.

This morning, I am stronger than the day before …

By early morning light, I discover peace, inner sustenance – purpose to soften the compression of violence that once defined me, to fully expose my heart to others, to find intention, to love. At night, when I drift away and my conscious mind is no longer present, the deep structure of protection takes center stage again … My sleep is disrupted, defined, brilliant. I realize that I have yet to make full contact with the deepest vulnerability hidden within the warmth of protection.

Notes:

I struggle in this vulnerable moment to find a deeper understanding of peace, non-violence and not choosing to protect myself all those painful years ago. I fully realize that I have yet to experience tenderness toward the act of protecting.

Take care and be well this weekend.