Spoken : Softly :Posted: January 20, 2015 | |
You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background? Well chirp f*cking chirp…this is one of those moments-
Being embarrassed in social situation(s) feels rather unpleasant. When someone remarks suddenly before class: “Your underwear is showing,” or while standing in line for a coffee … “Your barn door is open,” even better yet “Is that balsamic vinegar salad dressing in your hair?!?” Here let me smell. Few of us are likely to feel particularly joyful, to say the very least.
I’m recalling this morning with you, times during my life when I have felt the most embarrassed and to my surprise – Being embarrassed truly can be joyful!
There are a few moments of feeling embarrassed that instantly come to mind. One, was the night my son was born about nine years ago I suppose. You see, I exude a fairly calm, cool and collected demeanor, most times that is. I was pretty chill during the birth and what stands out to me was when it was only my beautiful new-born son, myself and a caring nurse handing him to me for the first time – “Here is your son sir” placing him gently into me shaking hands, tears streaming down my face, having no clue in the world what to do. I was embarrassed in this truly joyful moment.
At the same time though, there are horrible feelings that also produce embarrassment, feelings of being humiliated …
I still remember like it was yesterday, the dreadful scene when some of my classmates in 6th grade took great pleasure in teasing me to tears, because I was “fat” and started to go through the throes of puberty – acne and all. Calling me “fatty” by the boys and girls, the incessant teasing, only served to make the humiliation more degrading. I was deeply embarrassed during these joyless childhood moments.
What life, compassion, kindness and gratitude provide us is, if we reflect and allow the blushed cheeked, crying and shameful negative feelings of humiliation fade away. Is that, maybe, just maybe embarrassment really is an expression of – Joy.