(All) Knowing
Posted: January 17, 2014 Filed under: Meditation, Yoga | Tags: blogging, compassion, Education, exercise, fitness, free range, freshly pressed, friends, gluten free, happiness, health, hope, life, love, lululemon, marathon, meditation, motivation, musings, natural, nature, Omaha, paleo, passion, perspective, pilates, reading, running, the illusion of explanatory depth, trail running, Understanding, whole foods, writing, yoga 20 CommentsEverything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves-
Sometimes trying to understand what other people know and don’t know can be extremely challenging.
*I’m writing to the men reading today, because all of us do this*
Over the years we have developed a rather keen tendency to think we knew all along something, that we actually just learned two minutes ago talking with a friend. Is it fair to assume that you didn’t know that vintage Italian road bikes use 36 mm X 24 tpi threading for the bottom bracket?
One instance of not knowing exactly what one “knows” is the illusion of explanatory depth. This is the illusion that we can explain “something” deeper, with more clarity and depth, than we actually can. I’ll use myself as an example, because, I think much differently than most folks do …
As adults (used loosely), we are all-knowing, we know all, we can easily explain the intricacies of the world at a moments notice. Then when asked to do so by a friend? Our minds go blank and we instantly start looking for an answer on our iGadgets. Many are shocked when they realize they were mistaken about the depth(s) of their knowledge … “How dare you question me in more depth and detail?”
What am I getting at?
Daily Meditation:
Exploring the depths of a conversation can be truly magical when we switch off the I know this already parts of our inner dialog, and instead – Open up our hearts to listen and learn. This process is profound when attending a new yoga class, picking parts out for a vintage road bike and – A show of hands: Listening to the salesperson down at the local hardware store, the first time! Full disclosure – I have made three return trips once for not listening and “thinking” I knew the answer all along.
Be inspired and have a beautiful weekend!
CultFit 
wonderful! I needed to read this today 🙂
So did I, I fall into this trap far too often, only to be back at start – scratching my head. I hope you have a fantastic weekend, take care!
I’m slowly developing the habit of saying, “How interesting,” “Tell me more,” or “Fascinating!” in place of “I know, but.” Like you, I am aware that I have missed so much by being unteachable or by thinking I already knew. Great post.
nice. so liberating, the attitude of “I don’t know, let’s find out…”
Great post. Since I’m the annoying person that always asks questions…is the image blurry on purpose? Usually I can read between the lines but…
Annoying? Come on now 😉
The image is indeed blurry, for a tricky little purpose …The illusion of explanatory depth, or in this case – the depth to enjoy the waves crashing on the shore, the spray of the sea falling gently upon our skin.
Take care today and I hope you have a beautiful weekend!
Message received! Thanks for the remedial assistance today.😉
The timeliness of this post is greatly appreciated. The irony of its existence is that a recent opportunity afforded to me was to learn from my 18 year old son. In my limited experience with people, considering the global footprint of humanity, too often adults find themselves in a position of need relative to sharing and consuming information with those younger than they. The “I don’t know” mantra is so liberating, yet one too often forgotten for the sake of the ego. Thank you for this reminder as 2014 stretches her legs.
I’m excited to hear that my post resonated for you on a personal level. Often, I feel as though I am just rambling away aimlessly here … These posts mean a lot to me personally. Thank you for your kind thoughts! I hope you are having a great weekend, take care.
I love this post and the message that it’s ok to not know everything about everything. The flip side of this coin, which I think is also important, is to realize that we are not the only ones who don’t know (but think that we do) and should take caution in blindly believing information that we’re given.
This is a great post, and I really enjoy this blog!
Thank you! I wrote not too long ago about the dreaded – “Yeah … But” statement we use all too often while talking with someone, we may not always say it aloud, although for me personally, it lingers in my mind as the other person speaks … It truly is a trap! 😉
Personal moment – Its kind, thoughtful and passionate readers such as yourself that keep me going. Let’s be honest, some of these topics are tedious and boring. They may not help your split times or whatever, although you will do “whatever” with a smile – I hope … Take care once again and please be well!
Brother, they know me so well at the local hardware, I don’t have to go back… I just have to pick up the phone.
Have an awesome weekend my friend.
I usually go back with a coffee or soda for them … Yup, I know what their fave drink is!
Hopefully you can get some miles in this morning before football starts this afternoon – any hot pics for the Superbowl? Have a good one mate!
I’d like to see Denver and Seattle with Denver winning it all. We’ll see.
This is why i love my hubby (one of the many reasons). He does not do this, but instead is able to ask questions and really listen. :-). I love that dude!
FYI: we just did the 23 mile bike trail tour of the San Antonio missions (TX). On Townies! That alone should be worth something. LOL.! I hate those things. :-). But we sure had FUN!!!
Sandra, I love hearing stories like one the one you thoughtfully shared! Thank you … Side note: You bring up a great topic we can talk in more depth about in person – Falling in love with our bikes 😉
I’ll be down in Lincoln on the 2nd of Feb. for the Frozen Bike ride – Any chance you guys will back in town by then?
Take care!!! 🙂
Signed up for it! :-). You bet I will see you then!
I think the saying is, we are most likely to make an error when we are most sure we are right. When you are 100% sure you know it all, you stop considering options or examining additional information.
I’ve often wondered about the psychology that goes on when someone mentions an odd fact or even goes into depth on an obscure topic and looks at you like you are an idiot for not knowing what they consider to be “common knowledge”.
Is this some pathetic attempt to show their superiority to you? Are they covering for some insecurity by attacking your lack of knowledge?
None of us know everything or even all “common knowledge”. I try not to mentally blitz people when I know a subject much better than they do and when someone blitzes me and looks at me like I’m an idiot, I’m thinking there must be something more going on here than just some blathering idiot telling me the difference between two obscure species of birds.
This is a fascinating topic on many different levels, I really wish we had the time in person to explore all the varying minutiae that each question uncovers. That is so much going on here!
Like yourself, I try to not blitz folks with info, unless we are talking about hockey – then its fair game. 😉 Do you find yourself looking for a common interest, and then, slowly introducing more detail and info gently into the conversation?
I really have to step back and work on this at times coaching and instructing. A while back a teacher shared with me a little trick of making our words and thoughts dense with meaning – Use only five words to describe an activity, any activity. I scoffed at this at first, now I try to use it both at work and while teaching. Anyways, I’m rambling on … Thank you so much for getting my mind going on this slow Sunday morning! I often say – A good thoughtful, engaging conversation is almost as good as a brisk run – almost …Take care and be well today!
I like the idea of trying to describe something in 5 words.
I see people do the blitz and then look at the other person as if they were idiots for not knowing all about what was just said.
Sometimes people don’t want all of the details. You can explain how a goal in hockey is made without explaining every rule.
Sometimes when someone says something about a blog post I can go on for too long telling them about what inspired me to write it or what I left out or thought of afterwards.
I think often times a simple “thank you” would suffice.
I think I first became painfully aware of the blitz with my children. I’m 30 yrs older than them, of course I know more than they do, in most cases anyway.
If I go on for too long I loose them. Better to be brief, keep them engaged and not make them feel like they’ve been blitzed. I think blitzing makes the other person feel less intelligent. Not something you want your child to feel.
We could talk about this for hours.
Cheers, Andy